Throwing It In....

Mood: Overwhelmed
Song: The Bonny Swans - Loreena McKennitt
Units of Caffeine: 1
Days Until Vacation: 9

Every have one of those days where you just feel like throwing in the towel? While I was in between my stage management duties at rehearsal last night, I took the opportunity to catch up on some of my thesis work - particularly, something on something which I should have created long ago: a proposed budget draft. Doing this was a really big reality check. It gave me a really clear view of what needs to be done within the next couple of weeks.

One problem is that there are a few major questions that have yet to be answered:
(1) How much is this thing actually going to cost?
(2) What is the initial investment?
(3) Who is going to cover the potential loss?

It's pretty funny to me that the organizations involved want to lay claim to any of the profit gains, but they nothing to do with any losses. Well, isn't that fucking great!? I wish life were that way: It would certainly make the whole stock market game a lot easier! On the plus side, I created my budget draft based on some pretty bleak numbers, including the yet unknown security costs of this event. When planning something, there are the things that you can plan on. That is to say, there are known factors. Well, this security issue was not known to me until about a month or two ago: I will need to pay for my own security at a rate of $30/hr. per man. Oh yes, and security needs to be there one hour before and one hour after the event. There is a committee on campus that determines how many security guards are needed for your event, and I am meeting with them today. Right now, my thesis project teeters between having one or two guards, but I know of one factor that WILL slide it over to the 2-guard assignment: a stupid craft-type fair which, as much as I flat out say "NO", keeps getting tossed back into my lap. I am actually in hopes that this committee tells me that, if I have the fair, it will double the cost of the security if I were to not have the fair. In this way, I can toss it back to the fair organizer and tell her that she needs to pay for it. And, I'm certain that will be the end of the whole craft fair idea!

On another note, I need a production meeting ASAP. I got in touch with my SM last week who told me she would stop by my office to talk with me on Monday or Tuesday. Well, Monday and Tuesday have come and gone and I still have yet to see my SM. No, I'm not sitting on this... I'm calling her this morning to find out what's going on. But you know what I'm getting sick of? I'm getting sick of people telling me they will be somewhere or that they will do something; and then they don't! This has been a running theme in my life over the past year or so with my responsibilities as a stage manager and as a director; and it's something that, quite frankly, I don't understand. Don't get me wrong, I know that "shit happens," making it impossible for you to do things that you have to do - But I am just amazed by the frequency of this. It is extremely improbable that this much shit could be happening. Or perhaps I'm too demanding: When someone tells me he will be somewhere, I expect him to be there. If someone tells me he will do something, I expect him to do it.

Too demanding? Expect too much of people?