On Trick-Or-Treating

Mood: Happy
What's On: The Most Haunted Live web cams
Units of Caffeine: 4

Okay, so I want to talk about that age-old tradition of "trick-or-treating." Now, if you think about it, it's pretty damn cool! I mean, it's amazing in this day and age that there is a day where kids can go up to a house of someone they don't know; ring the doorbell; say the magic words, "Trick or treat!" and get some free candy. Pretty damn amazing, ain't it? This is something that I participated in through high school; (yes, some people thought I was too old, but damn them all! It's free candy!) But, regardless of my age, I knew that the candy was NOT free. There is a small price to pay. I knew that in order to get candy, I had to be in costume. It's the unwritten rule in the Halloween Handbook. As an adult, I SERIOUSLY know that candy is far from free. Of course, when purchasing the goods, I think about the most important person in this scenario: ME! That is, if I get stuck with a ton of candy for whatever reason, I want it to be candy I like. So, I don't get the cheap "ass candy" - You know what I'm talking about: Hard, tasteless candy like Ju-Ju Bees or Mary Janes; I get the good stuff. Namely, CHOCOLATE! So, I loaded up on $30 to $40 worth of various kinds of Chocolate and dumped it all into a huge bowl, which I have called, "The Bowl of Glory!" It is truly a site to behold. Mmmmmmmmmm! So... here I am with my "Bowl of Glory," filled with goodies that truly NO child in their right mind would hate, and I have one rule. The unwritten rule. Which means: No costume. No candy! Now, I understand that if there's a kid who is 2 or something who is bundled up in a huge coat to keep warm isn't in any sort of costume - okay. But if there are any 8 - 11 year olds, begging for free candy who can't even come up with some last-minute thing, then you know what they can get from me? MY ASS!

Seriously, though! I'm not asking for much; just a bloody costume! I don't care if you come as Adam Sandler doing the stupid, "I'm crazy spoon head" bit - it's something.

Halloween!

Mood: Tired
Song: Forever Young - Alphaville
Days Until Graduation: 46
HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

So, it's Halloween; perhaps my favorite day of the year; and I think I made a poor choice in my costume. Well, it's not to say that I had a lot of choices here - You see, my office loves themes. No, really.... they love themes!! I didn't have a problem with the "villains" theme or the "80s" theme; but it started to get a little tired last year when my office decided on "cheerleaders". Since I was doing the Dublin workshops at this time last year, I "didn't have time" to find a cheerleading outfit. Damn.

This summer, the theme was chosen based on a program my office is doing in an effort to increase awareness in student leadership opportunities: "Go Bananas!" So, my co-workers decided that we should all dress up like bananas. Umm..... no. In an effort to keep from looking like and idiot, yet still look like a team player, I said that "it would be really cool if I made myself up to look like a monkey!" No, I really didn't care to be a monkey, but it sure beat being a banana. So, I spent a couple of months acquiring what I needed for my makeup design, and it looked as if it was going to come out quite well.

My makeup plot for this thing required use of crepe hair. Quite a bit of it. So, last night, I decided to do a test run, using some blonde crepe hair I knew I would never use, and make myself a beard in order to get an idea of what I was doing and how long it would take. I looked up some information on how to apply a beard using crepe hair and followed the instructions. The instructions I found used a technique called layering in which you would take small amounts of crepe hair and affix them to your face, bit by bit with spirit gum. Let me tell you, this has got to be the messiest way of accomplishing this! Not only was I getting hair stuck all over the place, but one of my cats decided that I was doing it wrong and that I needed her help. She jumped up on my work area, but because my hands were just two big wads of sticky spirit gum and crepe hair, I couldn't pick the cat up and throw her off, lest I get cat hair all over my hands and (worse) spirit gum all over the cat. She climbed all over my makeup and knocked over the open bottle of spirit gum. I screamed bloody murder at the cat! Not because of the sticky, saplike substance that was now all over the bathroom sink and floor - but because of my aforementioned fear of spirit gum getting on the cat. If that had happened, I would seriously had to have shaved the sticky fur off the cat. Oh, man, I am SO glad that I didn't have to go there.

So, I completed the beard, and it didn't look half bad. Too bad that it has on my hands and not on my face. So, I cleaned up and thought that the whole crepe hair thing was probably a bad idea. So, I pulled out my Elvira wig (don't ask) and tried it on with the monkey face. It didn't work. I mean, I don't mind being funny; but that was absolutely ridiculous. So, I went to bed without a real solution to the problem. When I woke up at 4:00 this morning, it hit me! I could create little swatches of fur using liquid latex - and that's exactly what I did! So, I showered and got right to it! It worked well, but I didn't have enough crepe hair to cover the entire face, so I just put a cap on, which took care of the lack of crepe hair on my brow. So, at quarter after seven this morning, I looked in the mirror with a satisfied look on my face.

Then another problem hit me.

The prosthetic piece I'm using on my face does not allow me to eat anything, nor does it make it especially easy to drink anything. So, here it is: 11:17 in the a.m. I've been awake for over seven hours now with no food and (more importantly) NO COFFEE! So, I'm hungry and bitchy. Fun, no?

So....since I have now established that I'm in a bitchy mood, let me gripe about my co-workers a little. I came in, expecting them to look like... well.... bananas. Nope. They're all wearing yellow sweats and yellow tee shirts. WTF? That's what you call a banana? Hell, I could have done that and been a hell of a lot more comfortable than I am now! I mean... it doesn't look like bananas at all. It kinda makes me look like an idiot. I mean, it looks like the theme was PJs and I just misunderstood the assignment. Either that or the theme is "Planet of the Apes Reject Goes To A Sorority Slumber Party."

Friday Again

Mood: Blah
Song: Baroque Samba - New York Voices
Units of Caffeine: 2 - (going slow this morning)
Days Until Graduation: 49

Ah, yes... It's Friday again, and as you know it's my least favorite day of the week. This morning, I'm sitting in my office with not a thing to do and not a student in site anywhere in the Union. I have a suspicion that today is going to be a long day. And to make thing worse, Blogger won't let me upload any photos today! Gah!

Progress has been made with the thesis. My meeting with Froggy yesterday actually went quite well. As she requested last week, I went through all of my crap and organizaed it into a series of folders divided as follows:

Commedia dell'Arte History
Madrigal Music
The Masque
Project Conception
Planning & Development
- Venue
- Caterer
- Budget
- Marketing
- Box Office Procedures
Pre-Production
Problem Solving / Triage

She seemed a bit overwhelmed with the amount of work that I presented to her; in fact, she even indicated that I had already done more work than is usually required for the projects. I cannot tell you how happy I am that someone of importance has finally recognized this fact. I guess it's one thing to talk about it, but completely different when you actually see the amount of work that was done. So, my two projects are amended as follows:

Project I:
A paper that will discuss and show the process of producing a madrigal banquet, from its conception last December to now. It will also tell why the production went unproduced and give details on how these problems could be solved for a future production.

Project II:
A working production script of the complete madrigal banquet.

In this way, I will not lose any of the work that I have already put into this thing.

Huzzah!

Scary

Mood: Waking
Song: Come Undone - Duran Duran
Units of Caffeine: Working on 1st cup
Days Until Graduation: 49

So, Halloween is in the air! I know, I know... you're probably saying, "Uh.... Doctor... Where the hell have you been?" But seriously, although Halloween is my favorite time of year, I haven't really felt it until a day or two ago. Hell, it wasn't until a little over a week ago that it even felt like Fall around here. But now there are pumpkins, spooks and a certain crispness in the air that I associate with Halloween. (Of course, the Texas Fall crispness differs from the Fall crispness in the northeast, but I'll take what I can get.) Unfortunately, I will miss a big Halloween shin-dig tomorrow night because my in-laws will be in town (dammit), but Halloween night I am planning on using my makeup design skills to create a masterpiece, using my face as the canvas; watching really good, bad horror movies; and passing out goodies to the neighborhood ghouls. Speaking of make-up; I'm pretty excited since I have client this year. That is, a friend of mine has 'hired' me to do her makeup design this Halloween. I have designed shows before, (but nothing stylized), and I've obviously designed my own face for Halloween several times, but this is the first time that I will be doing someone else's Halloween makeup. (Well, actually, I remember doing something on the fly for a friend in 1997 - It came out really well, but I didn't get to take a picture of it for my portfolio). Anywho... I am hoping that I can sell myself as a makeup artist for several Halloween events in the future - here we go!

Dexter's Halloween Mix
(a.k.a The Doc's Levels of Hell)

1. Prologue - Little Shop of Horrors
2. The Great Pumpkin Waltz - Chick Corea
3. Skalloween - The Skatalites
4. Hell - Squirrel Nut Zippers
5. Ghost Town - The Specials
6. Time Warp - The Rocky Horror Show (Roxy cast recording)
7. Epiphany - Sweeney Todd, the Demon Barber of Fleet Street
8. Sober - Tool
9. Haunted - Poe
10. (Don't Fear) The Reaper - Caesars*
11. Burn - The Cure
12. More Human Than Human - White Zombie
13. Black No.1 (Little Miss Scare-All) - Type O Negative
14. Juke Joint Jezebel - K.M.F.D.M.
15. Burn - Nine Inch Nails
16. Dogma - Marilyn Manson
17. Love You To Death - Type O Negative

*For the purists wondering why I didn't "add more cowbell" with the Blue Oyster Cult, I couldn't fit their original version on the disc, so I had to use the Caesars shorter version.

If All The World's A Stage, Why Am I Always In The Pit?

Mood: Tired
Song: Fall Down - Toad The Wet Sprocket
Units of Caffeine: Not nearly enough!
Days Until Graduation: 51

Holy crap! has it really been that long since my last blog entry? God, what a slacker am I! Well, I have been going through spurts of energy, in which I work on research; then bits of depression; then spurts of work again; then sessions of laziness; rinse; repeat. Right now I'm in the midst of a lazy period - probably because I've been working on the Thesis for the past three hours sans pause. About a week or so ago, I felt like I had a mountain of data with no place to put it. Now I have and organized mountain of data with no place to put it. I have a meeting with Froggy tomorrow afternoon to figure out what to do with it. I honestly have no idea how to create a paper or papers out of this as it is all information on how to create a production; a lot of it in the form of e-mail to and from several people. Although the actual production ceases to exist, this whole thing is extremely draining. Since K is between production weekends, I do the majority of my thesis work at work so that I have time to just veg on the couch with K at night.

Other than this constant pattern of work - depression - work - laziness; not much has been happening in my world.

I feel...

so...

very...

milquetoast.

Fridays

Mood: Frustrated
Song: Overture - The Nightmare Before Christmas
Units of Caffeine: 4
Days Until Graduation: 56

Hey, does anyone know why Patrick Stewart narrates the prologue on the soundtrack to The Nightmare Before Christmas but not in the movie? Just a random question.... Anyway, it's Friday, which means that there will be drinking tonight. Unfortunately, it also means that I won't get anything done today in terms of schoolwork progress. Well, I mean, I will do everything I can do on my own, but anything else - Not a chance. Yesterday I submitted my Master's Degree Plan knowing in the back of my mind that something would be wrong with it. Sure enough, there was a voice message from Chair on my phone this morning telling me just that. Before I go on with the details of what was wrong with my degree plan, I need to tell you how the department works a little bit. Just like any degree plan, you have to complete a group of core classes and a bunch of classes that you get to pick and choose. All of the core classes are specifically titled within the graduate catalogue: Contemporary Theatre; Theatre History I & II; Criticism & Analysis; etc. However, the "other" classes have a vague listing as "Special Topics" or "Problems in Production" with a subheading, stating what the class is really about. The subheadings are always listed in the semester schedules and look like this:

DRAM 555 01 Special Topics - Stage Management
DRAM 555 01 Special Topics - Advanced Makeup Design

However, the subheadings do not appear on your transcript until you've completed your degree plan. So, a transcript including the above listed classes without a completed degree plan would look like this:

DRAM 555 01 Special Topics
DRAM 555 01 Special Topics

Does anyone notice the problem with this? No? Well, what if half of your transcript looked like this:

DRAM 555 01 Special Topics
DRAM 555 01 Special Topics
DRAM 555 01 Special Topics
DRAM 555 01 Special Topics
DRAM 555 01 Special Topics
DRAM 555 01 Special Topics
DRAM 555 01 Special Topics
DRAM 555 01 Special Topics
DRAM 555 01 Special Topics
DRAM 555 01 Special Topics

Now, first of all, I would really like it if my transcript showed the description of all of the classes like in the schedules. (Right now my transcript just makes me look like a damn moron.) But even more than that, I would like to believe that the University worked as a whole and that the drama department talks with the graduate school and vice versa. I would like to think that the drama department would tell the graduate school about this detail in their programming so that it doesn't look like I just took the same class over and over again. But wishing that offices on this (and any) campus would actually talk to each other is such a pipe dream! Chair called me to say that my degree plan had been rejected because, (surprise, surprise), the graduate school stated that "I had taken the same class multiple times." Chair told me that I need to indicate the topic on my degree plan in order to both tell the graduate school that I'm not an idiot and to update my transcript. So, then I ask Chair if she has a file on me or anything to show which classes were what. This probably shouldn't have come to a surprise as well, but Chair told me that she didn't have it and that it was my responsibility to keep track of what classes I've taken. Okay, true, I think it is my responsibility to keep my files in order, but don't you think the university should also be keeping track of this stuff? I mean, at this point I feel as if the university has given me something akin to a blank check in which I can just make up shit and include any topic on want on these things. (Of course, I won't. It would only bite me in the ass within the professional world if they saw that I had a class in "advanced scenic design" and then quickly found out that I didn't know yak shit about it.) But dammit... this is just another piece of shit that I had to deal with! As if I don't have anything to do.

So, this morning I worked on finding out what the titles were of the classes I took over the past three and a half years and dealt with my financial aid exit interview, which wasn't an interview. In undergrad, I remember scheduling a meeting with a financial aid counselor for an interview, and I remember sitting down with her and being very helpful with telling me what to expect; what to do if I had financial difficulties; etc... Now, everything is on line. (Another non-surprise!) So, instead of spending ten of fifteen minutes talking with a real, live person, I had to spend over two hours with a not-so-friendly web site. Everything would have been quick and dandy if and only if everything were working properly.... but it didn't. I sat in front of my computer, at the last page of the "interview", trying to submit on on-line form with all of my personal information on it, confirming that I had completed the interview. Although I had completed all of the required fields necessary for the form, I would constantly get a pop-up message telling me that I had not completed all of the required fields. So, I go through the web site looking for some tech support number or any contact phone number, only to find e-mail addresses. After a while, I found a phone number! EUREKA! I called and there was a voice recording referring me to the web site for which I was having problems!

I then marched my disgruntled ass to the financial aid office on campus and vented my frustrations. They let me use one of their computers and it all worked out. However... Immediately after I completed the on-line bullshit, they gave me a form to fill out that, I kid you not, was the exact same thing as what I just filled out on-line.

Your Theme Music

Mood: Pensive
Song: The Promise - When In Rome
Units of Caffeine: 12
Days Until Graduation: 57

You know, I have often asked people, "If you had a theme song, what would it be?" Usually the question is followed by a short laugh, (as if to say, "Hey, what an interestingly random question"), which is followed by a quizzical look, (as if to say, "Wow, that's not an easy question to answer.") Truth be told, I can't answer the question about myself. I mean, there's a lot of pressure involved in finding your own theme song. Perhaps this is a question that can't even be answered - What song can encompass everything that makes you you?

So, I've scaled the question down to, "What 15 songs would be on your soundtrack?" Of course, I haven't answered that question for myself yet, either, but I'm working on it. It takes time to go through both my CD collection and my umpteen thousand songs in iTunes to get the perfect mix; the 15 songs that say "This Is Who I Am." But I am getting into things by categorizing a bit. Here we go:

Three CDs I could listen to over and over again:
Ten – Pearl Jam
The Singles Collection – The Specials
When Harry Met Sally – Harry Connick Jr.

Three Soundtracks I Could Not Live Without:
Six Feet Under, Vol. 2: Everything Ends
Natural Born Killers
The Commitments

Three Favorite Musical Scores/Cast Recordings/Concept Albums:
(Thank you Theatre Tiger for making me obsess over the correct terminology)
Sweeney Todd
The Rocky Horror Show
The Nightmare Before Christmas*
*Yeah, I know it's not really in the realm of "Showtunes" but it can't really be classified as a Soundtrack. But then again, if we're splitting hairs, neither can The Commitments. Oh well, it's my list dammit! Who are you to judge?

Three Movie Scores That I Love:
The Truman Show
The Shawshank Redemption
American Beauty

Three Songs That Make Me Cry:
Mad World – Gary Jules
And Dream of Sheep – Kate Bush
Shelter – Sarah McLachlan

Three of my Favorite Alt. Rock Albums:
Everything You Want – Vertical Horizon
Dulcinea – Toad The Wet Sprocket
Enima of the State – Blink 182

Three Artists/Bands that I Adore that I know no one knows:
Kilgore Trout
Dr. Pocket
Too Hectic

Three of My Guilty Pleasures:
Vanessa Carlton
Supertramp
Michael Jackson

Three of My Favorite Not-So-Serious Bands:
They Might Be Giants
Barenaked Ladies
Dead Milkmen

Too Tech?

Mood: Bored
Song: Wasting My Life - The Hippos
Units of Caffeine: 8.75
Days Until Graduation: 58

At the risk of sounding like I don't like change or anything, whatever happened to the days of customer service where you could go somewhere and talk to someone about a problem you're having? Right now I'm close enough to graduation where I want to make sure that I have killed enough trees for my University. The amount of paperwork the University requires when entering or exiting the institution is nothing short of astounding. And, of course, if you've missed one minor detail, you've fucked yourself royally! So, as displayed on my countdown, there are only fifty-eight days until graduation and I wasn't sure what the University needed of me in order to make sure that every "i" was dotted and every "t" crossed. As luck would have it, I received an e-mail from the registrar a few days ago advertising a Graduate Fair scheduled for today and tomorrow, where I could go and "take care of all the pesky details needed to graduate." So, I go to the graduate fair, loaded with questions and concerns and left about an hour later without a single question answered nor a concern addressed. Here is what happened: At every booth I went to, I was given the same response; "Go to our web site." At one point, late in the hour, one representative at a certain booth asked, "Have you visited our web site?" to which I responded, "No. That's why I'm here."

Again, I'm all for technology and all the information that the web has to offer, but why should I have to go to a web site... nay, why should I have to go to web sites when I'm at a supposed information fair? It's like going to a bank teller who simply points out the ATM across the street. So, instead of walking away from this fair full of answers and forms needed by various offices in order to graduate; I walked away with a bunch of little slips of paper, all containing long phrases beginning with "http://"

On a positive note, I ordered my cap, gown and masters hood, making the graduation date just a little more real.

Molly Ivins

About a week old, here is a really great commentary on another stupid thing that's going on with Dubya.

http://www.workingforchange.com/article.cfm?itemid=19727

Hello, My Name Is Stupid

Mood: Stupid
Song: Vox- Sarah McLachlan
Units of Caffeine: 4
Days until Graduation: 59

The weekend has come and gone and although I didn't do anything, it was anything but relaxing. With only eight weeks left within the semester, I have no direction with which to finish my degree. I had a meeting with the graduate adviser as per Chair, since she is one of the older members of the faculty and has more experience with academic papers. I will call the graduate adviser Froggy because she kinda' looks like one. So, I had a meeting with Froggy yesterday. I didn't get much accomplished, but I do feel a little better. I mean, she said something along the lines of:

"Look, I know that you're probably losing sleep (yes!) and worried to death about
this thing (yes, again!), but really, don't put any deadlines on yourself.
Just meet with me on a regular basis and we will work on this together; step by
step. If you get anxious, just keep saying to yourself, 'I will graduate
in December.'"

Froggy then told me to just organize all the material I had in some fashion and we'll regroup to discuss what happens next. On one hand I hate this micro-managing approach to the project, but on the other, I think I would have a panic attack every five minutes or so if I kept looking at the big picture. But there is one thing that the Froggy and the rest of the faculty does that really irritates me: the keep saying, "Don't worry. You will work through this. I know you will." I hate that! My project was cancelled and I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing. I mean, sure, I'm writing a paper of some sort now, but I have never written nor read an academic paper before, so I'm pretty clueless. No matter how much I tell people that I have no idea what I'm doing, they just tell me, "Ah... you'll do it. Don't worry." What!? What the hell is that!? It doesn't even make any sense. Well... at this point, I don't even really care about my flawless GPA anymore. I just want to get through this nightmare and move on with my life.

So, Froggy is telling me to take my time and, as if the Graduate School were listening in on our conversation, I get a letter from them informing me that I need to give them the title of my paper in about two weeks.

GAH!

Everything's Better With Cake

Mood: Better
Song: West End Girls - Pet Shop Boys
Units of Caffeine: 4

About five minutes after I wrote my last post, my boss came into my office. Now, being a grad student, you can imagine that my job isn't all that glamorous, nor does it pay very much. However, the people I work with more than make up for that. Throughout my time working for the University, Boss and co-workers have been extremely supportive of me, my goals and my education. When the shit went down with my project, Boss immediately wrote me an e-mail to tell me how sorry she was to hear that things had taken a turn for the worse and offered to work with me in every way possible to help me graduate by December. She told me, "the last thing you need to worry about right now is work."

Well, as I said, she came into my office with a cake from one of the best bakeries I have ever been to and admitted that, before my project fell through, she and the staff had planned a little "pick-me-up" party that was to be held yesterday afternoon. In light of what had happened, they had cancelled it (also because I took most of the day yesterday to meet with folks and try to regroup about this thing). But, Boss told me they still had the cake. So, she gave me the cake, "because everything gets better with cake," and promised some major party once everything is said and done and the semester is over.

Although I'm excited about Seattle, it's going to be hard to leave this office next year.

What Now?

Mood: Uninspired
Song: Black - Pearl Jam
Units of Caffeine: Working on my 3rd
Days until Graduation: 63

It's Friday and logic dictates that I should be thrilled by this, but in fact I feel quite... blah. This whole week has been shit and I have the entire spectrum of emotions surging through my body right now to the point it has quite honestly tired me out. Fridays are such crap days at work, too. This doesn't help. You see, I work at probably the only university that does not hold classes on Fridays. So, not only am I sitting on my ass at work doing a whole lot of nothing, but there is nothing that I can accomplish on Fridays as a student. Of course, right now I am wavering between apathy and pure panic: on one hand, I just want to do nothing for a few days in order to wash everything away and let my brain "reboot". But on the other, I realize that there are only eight weeks left within the semester and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. I guess that's it. I wouldn't mind just taking a couple of days to regroup if I knew exactly what I was doing and could just dive right into it a few days from now, but I don't.

I had a meeting with the Chair yesterday and it did not go exactly as I had hoped. She is understanding as to what happened and is willing to work with me on whatever I decide to do, but she was really pushing me to treat this semester as a wash; drop my class and do another project next semester. I thought about this for about half a second before saying, "Absolutely not." Not only would I lose all of the tuition I paid this semester, but I would have to return my scholarship from Student Life; I would also have to pay for another semester of tuition and throw out all of the work that I have completed thus far and start from scratch. It seems as if I would get punished for something that is totally not my fault. I spoke with a friend of mine who graduated from the department this past Spring. He is a really hard worker who gets things done; (the type of person the department lacks these days); and he has worked as a student assistant to Chair for several years. Not only do I value his opinion, but he knows how Chair ticks. He told me that Chair is not one to make students stay on longer than they absolutely have to. Actually, I'm in agreement with this: I've had a few talks with Chair about continuing with my education in order to get an MFA or perhaps even a PhD. She didn't discount those options, but really felt that I am ready to get out of academia and move on to the "real world." In fact, something she has said to me, not only in the past, but even at yesterday's meeting was that she could actually see me working as a producer or executive director; but the only way I could continue to work toward those goals is to get out and learn by doing; I have learned all that I can from the classroom. So, why then would she suggest that I stay on for another semester? My friend told me that Chair more than likely feels that I have been slighted by the University and that I am compromising my project a lot. He feels that Chair wants to give me the opportunity to do a project and see it through to completion with the department and University's full support. This actually does make a lot of sense : up until yesterday I felt that she was being extremely supportive of me and then just plopped something unexpected into my lap.

Yes, I do feel slighted. Yes, I am compromising my project with whatever it turns out to be, but I am so ready to close this chapter in my life and move on and move out (of Texas). My friend told me that this is no time to keep any information from Chair and told me to be completely candid with her about how I feel and what I want to do.

I have another string of meetings next week, beginning with the oldest member of the department who is going senile, Dr. Ding-Bat. I have seen Dr. D-B do lots of great things, but after seeing almost everything about her deteriorate over the past few years, I think she seriously needs to hang it up. But, she is the graduate advisor and is really the only one qualified to discuss academic papers - so, I am going to meet with her (hopefully on Monday, because God knows it's not going to be today) to talk about how I can create a paper that is both graduate student quality and a fair amount of work, based upon the work that I have done since January.

In the meantime, I plan to go out this evening to get some gin and vermouth and relax with a few dry martinis tonight.

Flatline

The Ren Mad project is officially dead.

The Not-So-Good Doctor

Mood: Drained
Song: The Impression That I Get - The Mighty Mighty Bosstones
Units of Caffeine: 0.5
Days until Graduation: 65

Well, things don't look too good for the Ren Mad Banquet. Over the past week, I had e-mailed and left several massages on the answering machine of my partner in this project, only to be responded by a whole lot of nothing. Yesterday I called and left a message asking him to call me sometime by the end of the day or I was just going to call the project off. That prompted a response, albeit not the one I wanted. I really wanted to talk to him about this over the phone. But instead he e-mailed. After a few e-mails back and forth with me coming up with possible ideas of how to make the things work, and my partner saying 'no' to everything and not offering any ideas of his own, I said that it looked like our only option is to cancel the project. He responded: "o.k. we'll cancel it."

I was on the verge of writing a mass e-mail to everyone about this, (i.e., my thesis committee, my production team, marketing, etc.) but I have one last card that I want to play. I still have a meeting scheduled with a pretty influential person within the School of the Arts this morning. I was originally going to ask him about other venues in the area that I might be able to use. However, now I am going to ask if he knows of any grants or foundations that I might be able to get my hands on. If I can, I will just take the money and do this project independently. I seriously doubt that Mr. Influential can get his hands on the amount I need, but it doesn't hurt to ask about it. Besides, after I do that I can honestly say, without a shadow of a doubt, that I have done everything I could to try to make this thing happen.

In the likely event that my project is indeed cast to the wind, my final thesis project turns into a paper on theatre production: a detailed study on the failure of a good idea. If and when this happens, I think you will see me disappear from the blog for a while as all of my writing time will be dedicated to the paper.

The silver lining to this cloud: I don't have to worry about how I'm going to ensure my cast comes to rehearsal the day after Thanksgiving.

Times a Ticking

Mood: Eager
Song: Let's Face the Music and Dance - Diana Krall
Units of Caffeine: 2
Days until Graduation: 67

Alright... so I got very little sleep this weekend and have been antsy because I just can't get my mind of the Ren Mad. I know that a couple days ago I wrote an entry with a sort of ambivalent attitude towards it, but from out of nowhere I got a renewed burst of energy. I think I know how I can get this things to work without so much cost. It involves taking the project off campus. The problem is that, with less than two months until curtain, I don't have a lot of time to finalize this. Also, since the project takes place during a busy time of year what with holiday concerts and parties going on, I may be SOL. I've made some phone calls; I've issued e-mails. Now I sit and play the waiting game until someone calls/writes me back. But the clock keep on ticking away the minutes that I seriously do not have.

Second Try

Mood: Good
Song: Boulevard of Broken Dreams - Green Day
Units of Caffeine: 11

Today has been an "okay" day. I had my monthly massage today, which always seems to make everything right with the world. But it also helps when it rains slightly and there's a cool breeze. I've decided to e-mail my thesis committee and "cohort" in the Madrigal Banquet. I am still very concerned about the pre-production costs, as well as my reputation. I really don't want to get halfway through the rehearsal process and find out we don't have the funds to make it work, forcing me to tell the cast, "Sorry. We're done. Sorry to have wasted your time." I seriously don't want that to happen. So, I'm going to propose the following: I'm going to sell tickets as soon as I get things straightened out with the box office manager. If it looks like we're not going to make the down payment amount by the time I hold auditions, I'm going to scrap the project... That is, unless anyone has any better ideas. It seems that I'm the only one pulling this beast along, so I have no problems making this decision and potentially pissing off some people.

On a better note, I re-booked a cruise today! It looks as if K won't have enough vacation time to take another week off until April, so I booked a 7-day cruise at the end of April. And you know what? It's actually a better cruise than the one I originally booked for September! I originally booked a Western Caribbean cruise out of Galveston. We had taken the cruise before and really enjoyed it; and it's all our budget would allow. Now that I have some time to save up a little more and use the credit I have for the cancelled cruise, I booked an Eastern Caribbean cruise out of Miami. Take a look at this ship! I mean, it has a British Pub, a mini-golf course and an indoor ice skating rink. It was the world's largest cruise ship about five years ago. (I can't even imagine what the largest one is like now!)

So... now I'm off to watch some movies at a friend's house and do some drinking. Just wanted to write and say that some very good decisions were made today.

A Difference A Week Makes

Mood: Sick
Song: Red Alert - Dan Dyer
Units of Caffeine: 3

Last week I was laughing it up with my bro and C; dining on steamers and really good Indian food, followed by a great evening of Twisted Flicks. This week I'm at home, sick, thinking about my thesis project and how I'm going to get the pre-production funds by November 15th. And also wondering how the hell I got to this point. I mean, my approved thesis project was to write a 30-45 minute masque and direct it for an already established Madrigal Banquet. Notice that it doesn't contain the words "producing," "marketing," or "fundraising." Yet here I am.

I spoke with my some members of my thesis committee who suggested that I start selling tickets ASAP in order to help gain the necessary funds for pre-production. This was on Monday. So, I was hoping to get things in order to start selling tickets next Monday. I thought a week was enough time to do that. I was wrong. All I did was just open up a whole new can of worms for me to deal with.

I hate to say this, but I honestly hope that I don't get the funds by November 15th. Then the production can't go on. I can present the work I have and write a report on why it didn't work to include in my post-mortem. I will graduate and move on with my life. I will attempt the madrigal banquet in Seattle; where I hope to get involved with a theatre group that's just a touch more organized. BUT... in the meantime, I'm creating tickets and structuring box office procedures. Again.... this is something that is not included within my thesis proposal.

What's In A Name?

1. YOUR PORN STAR NAME: (Name of first pet / Street you live on):
Sammy Bell

2. YOUR MOVIE STAR NAME: (Name of your favorite snack food / Grandfather's first name):
Goldfish Bob

3. YOUR FASHION DESIGNER NAME: (First word you see on your left / Favorite restaurant):
Seussical Saltys

4. EXOTIC FOREIGNER ALIAS: (Favorite Spice / Last Foreign Vacation Spot):
Clove Dublin

5. SOCIALITE ALIAS: (Silliest Childhood Nickname / Town Where You First Partied):
Moose Oswego

6. "FLY GIRL/BOY" ALIAS (a la J. Lo): (First Initial / First Two or Three Letters of your Last Name):
B. De

7. ICON ALIAS: (Something Sweet Within Sight / Any Liquid in Your Kitchen):
M&M Sake

8. DETECTIVE ALIAS: (Favorite Baby Animal / Where You Went to High School):
Kitten Corcoran (hmm.... that doesn't sound too manly, does it?)

9. BARFLY ALIAS: (Last Snack Food You Ate / Your Favorite Alcoholic Drink):
Popcorn Martini

10. SOAP OPERA ALIAS: (Middle Name / Street Where You First Lived):
M. Brighton

11. ROCK STAR ALIAS: (Favorite Candy / Last Name Of Favorite Musician):
Twix Rzeznik

12. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: ( First 2 letters of your first name and the first 3 Letters from your last name makes your first name. Take the first 2 letters of your mother's maiden name and the first 3 letters of the city you were born in):
BeDex BlSyr

A Look Back

The Rules:
1. Go to your archives
2. Locate your 23rd post
3. Find the 5th sentence
4. Post the sentence in a new entry with the Rules.

The 5th sentence of my 23rd post:

"I watched it last night and I am still coming off from the emotional journey it took me on."

The Fall

Mood: Nostalgic
Song: Transatlanticism - Death Cab for Cutie
Units of Caffeine: 3

"It's autumn in New York that brings the promise of new love.
Autumn in New York is often mingled with pain.
Dreamers with empty hands my sigh for exotic lands;
It's autumn in New York;
It's good to live again"

Last week, when I stepped out of Sea Tac airport in Seattle, the crisp, cool, smoky fall air filled my nostrils. It wasn't just a scent, but a feeling that washed over me. It was at that moment that I realized that I hadn't seen autumn in a long time - I think the last time I experienced that feeling was when I was in Vermont in 2001. It's funny that I even forgot what that feeling was like. I mean, every time October and November comes to Texas, I complain that it just isn't fall and know that I'm missing that feeling I had when living in the northeast, but up until that moment in Washington, I had quite honestly forgotten what it was that I was missing.

I spent a glorious week in that cold, fall air in the Pacific Northwest and came back to Texas; the state where summer never ends. And I don't mean that in a good way. I mean, it's October! Leaves should be falling! People should be wearing light jackets! The slight scent of winter mixed with dried leaves should be in the air! But no, I'm still wearing shorts, the air is still dry and blistering, and my air conditioning is still on 24/7. So, you can imagine my delight when I check out NOAA and see the following:

...SIGNIFICANT COOL DOWN EXPECTED ACROSS NORTH TEXAS...

A STRONG CANADIAN COLD FRONT WILL MOVE ACROSS NORTH TEXAS TONIGHT... AND BRING AN ABRUPT END TO THE ABOVE NORMAL TEMPERATURES WE HAVE RECENTLY SEEN. THE FRONT WILL TURN THE WIND TO NORTH... AND INCREASE SPEEDS TO BETWEEN 15 AND 25 MPH. TEMPERATURES WILL QUICKLY COOLLATE TONIGHT... WITH LOWS THURSDAY MORNING RANGING FROM THE LOWER 50S IN THE NORTHWEST TO THE MID AND UPPER 60S ACROSS THE EXTREME SOUTHERN COUNTIES. RAIN SHOWERS AND A FEW THUNDERSTORMS WILL OCCUR ALONG AND JUST BEHIND THE FRONT.

MOSTLY CLOUDY SKIES AND MUCH COOLER AIR WILL DOMINATE NORTH TEXAS THURSDAY. SCATTERED RAIN SHOWERS WILL PERSIST ACROSS THE AREA. HIGH TEMPERATURES WILL REACH ONLY THE LOWER 60S IN THE EXTREME WEST...WITH MID 60S TO MID 70S ELSEWHERE. A GUSTY NORTH WIND OF 15 TO 25 MPH THURSDAY WILL MAKE TEMPERATURES FEEL EVEN COOLER.

CLEARING SKIES...DECREASING WINDS...AND DRY AIR WILL YIELD TWO OF THE COOLEST MORNINGS SO FAR THIS SEASON WITH LOWS FRIDAY AND SATURDAY MORNING RANGING FROM THE MID 40S TO THE MID 50S. RESIDENTS ACROSS NORTH TEXAS SHOULD BE PREPARED FOR THE MUCH COOLER TEMPERATURES... ESPECIALLY THURSDAY MORNING THROUGH SATURDAY MORNING. ANY TIME SPENT OUTSIDE WILL MOST LIKELY REQUIRE A JACKET.

Huzzah!

All Dressed Up

Mood: Down
Song: Nature Boy - David Bowie
Units of Caffeine: 5

So, here's the scoobie: K and I have a cruise all paid for, just waiting for us to book. I have oodles of vacation time. K, on the other hand, does not. I know so many instances in which we have had time off, but no place to go. I can't think of a time in which we have had a place to go, just no time in which to do it. I've been to Royal Caribbean's web site several times now, just to window shop and see all the wonderful things we could do, including a ten day Caribbean getaway just after New Year's. Oh, sure... we could take a nice cruise over the holidays, but it would cost over $1K more. The same goes for spring cruises - Damn the rules of peak season cruising!! So, it looks like my dreams of a tropical getaway will have to wait a bit longer than I had anticipated.

*le sigh*

And so... more shit has arisen with the madrigal banquet. I swear; quality aside; if this thing even gets off the ground, I will be thrilled! Yesterday I was informed of an added fee that adds over $1,600.00 to my budget and today I was just informed that I wasn't given a budget for any publicity. WTF!? How the hell am I supposed to sell tickets to this thing without any publicity??? So, back I go to my advisors tomorrow to figure out how I can squeeze blood from a rock. In the meantime, things have gotten so challenging with the Ren Mad that I have had to quit my stage managing job.

Gah!

Welcome Back!

Mood: On edge
Song: My Funny Valentine – Miles Davis
Units of Caffeine: 7

So, my vacation was good. K and I relaxed; we hung out; the weather was cool; it was nice. But, I guess I just can’t get over this whole cruise thing – Perhaps it was because, with the cruise, I wouldn’t have had to look at every penny we were spending every hour or so. But, the fact is, we got away from our lives for a while and we weren’t busy trying to squeeze thirty hours into the twenty-four hour day.

But I guess the main problem is that there really wasn’t an ease back into my everyday life. I couldn’t stick a toe in and get used to the temperature before easing my way into the pool. No, I was thrown right back into the deep end of an ice-cold pool that is my life. Yesterday I spent the day paying bills and catching up with housework and such, and this morning I opened my e-mail at work to find one hundred thirty two new e-mail messages. There was also a neatly piled stack of paperwork on my desk for me to go through. I quickly read up on the drama that is happening behind the scenes with Seussical and, as my eye was beginning to twitch, I got blindsided with two pieces of news regarding the Ren Mad banquet: (a) The down payment for the project is going to cost >$6K and (b) The caterer told me that there is a 15% charge on top of his quoted price that will go to the school’s catering company. I have no earthly idea why I have to pay a 15% surcharge to my University’s catering company when they aren’t doing a damn thing, but it increased my budget by ~$1,600.00. All of this is not good news when the church who is joining me in this Ren Mad venture informed me that they did not think of any of the up-front costs.

I hit the panic button and headed straight to the drama department and spoke with one of my mentors, (who happens to also be a good friend of mine). He calmed me down somewhat and suggested that I speak with the Chair. I spoke with the Chair and she did a really good job of easing my mind a bit. She told me that I should not, under any circumstances attempt to fund this project on my own. It was good to hear this from her, as I was thinking that I would have to take out a home equity loan or something like that. She also told me that it’s often a bad idea to act immediately after hearing bad news. It’s funny – I realize this is all pretty matter-of-fact advice that really should come as a “no brainer,” but I guess, with everything on my plate, it’s just hard to see the obvious. So we bounced around ideas of how to come up with money to front the initial funds needed for this project and even discussed my options in the event that the Ren Mad doesn’t pan out. I am not going to write about these options because I really don’t even want to think of them right now – It would almost be like admitting defeat. However, I know that in a worst-case scenario, I will still graduate in December!