Mood: Surreal
Song: Siuil a Run
Units of Caffeine: 4
Days Until "M" Day: 13
Sheesh, it’s been a long time since I blogged – and, as always, it’s not for a lack of wanting. I am less than two weeks away from moving day and the reality of it hasn’t quite settled in yet. You would think that reality would have smacked me in the face a long time ago, when K & I sold our house, or even earlier, when the “For Sale” sign was put in the front of our house. Even as I sit in my office which gets more and more barren with each passing day, as I take personal items home, it still hasn’t hit me. I feel very surreal – kind of like an out of body experience. I guess I’m too busy to really dwell on what’s going to happen. Between packing and the everyday bustle of work at my job, I can barely plan ahead enough to think about what I’m going to have for dinner, let alone plan out the next two weeks. I’ve had to put the job search on hold just because I don’t have the time to focus on it, and believe me, I need the time to focus on it. Proof of this came last week in the form of a phone interview. A perspective employer left a message on my answering machine for me to call and schedule a time to have a phone interview. I called, expecting to set up a time, but instead, I found myself floundering my way through what had to be one of the worst interviews of my life. I wasn’t prepared mentally or physically. In the meantime, my life is just all about working and packing – packing and working. I’ve spent the last few days working on the kitchen, which HAS to be the worst room to pack: It not only feels like an endless stream of crap to pack, but almost everything has to be individually wrapped. I am in hopes of finishing it up tonight.
This morning, I woke up insanely early for some reason, which gave me some time to catch up on some blog reading. There is a friend of mine who began a year-long adventure in Hong Kong about three weeks ago. She said that there is a fine line between worry and excitement, and I couldn’t agree more. I find myself wavering between these two emotions a lot. Something else that I have in common with this friend is that I really want to document this adventure in my life. Six years ago, I took the bold step of moving away from my home town. Hell, I did much more than that – I moved out of my home state, across the country to Las Vegas. Although my time in Vegas turned out to be one of the lowest times in my life, it was an amazing journey (both figuratively and literally). I drove out there with a friend of mine, (whom I haven’t seen since), and I remember having deep conversations while seeing some of the most incredible sights this country has to offer. I did not have a camera, nor was I really into my journal writing at the time – So, I have no documentation of the trip. I cannot tell you how much that upsets me.
But looking ahead to this new journey; I think about how much cooler it’s going to be. You see, I was going through a really emotional time when I went to Las Vegas – I was heartbroken; moving with no direction*; and just “empty.” (*There is both a figurative and literal interpretation to this as well – My friend and I got onto the NY State Thruway and, in our haste, forgot a map and had no clue where we were going other than “west”). With this journey, however, I have found my compass. I am not going to Seattle because life threw me there. For the first time in my life, I am moving somewhere because I WANT to move there. And the best part – I get to share this journey with K. There were several places that I stopped, on my way to Vegas; places where, as Forrest Gump put it, I couldn't tell where heaven stopped and the earth began. At almost every minute of that trip, I had wished that K were with me. And now she is.
I found my compass.
Song: Siuil a Run
Units of Caffeine: 4
Days Until "M" Day: 13
Sheesh, it’s been a long time since I blogged – and, as always, it’s not for a lack of wanting. I am less than two weeks away from moving day and the reality of it hasn’t quite settled in yet. You would think that reality would have smacked me in the face a long time ago, when K & I sold our house, or even earlier, when the “For Sale” sign was put in the front of our house. Even as I sit in my office which gets more and more barren with each passing day, as I take personal items home, it still hasn’t hit me. I feel very surreal – kind of like an out of body experience. I guess I’m too busy to really dwell on what’s going to happen. Between packing and the everyday bustle of work at my job, I can barely plan ahead enough to think about what I’m going to have for dinner, let alone plan out the next two weeks. I’ve had to put the job search on hold just because I don’t have the time to focus on it, and believe me, I need the time to focus on it. Proof of this came last week in the form of a phone interview. A perspective employer left a message on my answering machine for me to call and schedule a time to have a phone interview. I called, expecting to set up a time, but instead, I found myself floundering my way through what had to be one of the worst interviews of my life. I wasn’t prepared mentally or physically. In the meantime, my life is just all about working and packing – packing and working. I’ve spent the last few days working on the kitchen, which HAS to be the worst room to pack: It not only feels like an endless stream of crap to pack, but almost everything has to be individually wrapped. I am in hopes of finishing it up tonight.
This morning, I woke up insanely early for some reason, which gave me some time to catch up on some blog reading. There is a friend of mine who began a year-long adventure in Hong Kong about three weeks ago. She said that there is a fine line between worry and excitement, and I couldn’t agree more. I find myself wavering between these two emotions a lot. Something else that I have in common with this friend is that I really want to document this adventure in my life. Six years ago, I took the bold step of moving away from my home town. Hell, I did much more than that – I moved out of my home state, across the country to Las Vegas. Although my time in Vegas turned out to be one of the lowest times in my life, it was an amazing journey (both figuratively and literally). I drove out there with a friend of mine, (whom I haven’t seen since), and I remember having deep conversations while seeing some of the most incredible sights this country has to offer. I did not have a camera, nor was I really into my journal writing at the time – So, I have no documentation of the trip. I cannot tell you how much that upsets me.
But looking ahead to this new journey; I think about how much cooler it’s going to be. You see, I was going through a really emotional time when I went to Las Vegas – I was heartbroken; moving with no direction*; and just “empty.” (*There is both a figurative and literal interpretation to this as well – My friend and I got onto the NY State Thruway and, in our haste, forgot a map and had no clue where we were going other than “west”). With this journey, however, I have found my compass. I am not going to Seattle because life threw me there. For the first time in my life, I am moving somewhere because I WANT to move there. And the best part – I get to share this journey with K. There were several places that I stopped, on my way to Vegas; places where, as Forrest Gump put it, I couldn't tell where heaven stopped and the earth began. At almost every minute of that trip, I had wished that K were with me. And now she is.
I found my compass.
posted by Dr. Dexter at 4:49 PM
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