Catching Up
Mood: Grey
Units of Caffeine: 2.5
Song: The More You Ignore Me, the Closer I Get - Morrissey
I think I'm just going to start scheduling time within my daily schedule to blog; otherwise, I'm just not going to do it for several months. Things at the theatre remain busy and stressful - and I am constantly asking myself questions like: "Why am I doing this?" and "Is this what I really want to do / how I want to live?" I never pursued theatre for money. Anyone who does this needs a severe kick in the ass with a reality check. Before working in the theatre, I was working as an office monkey: there was no real future, not a hell of a lot of responsibility, but it delivered a nice paycheck. But, as I said, I don't live to work - so, I continued to pursue my career in the theatre, and after a long ordeal of search, I found an entry-level position, and jumped at the offer, even though I had to take a siginificant pay cut from my last job. As long as I can afford to live and put a little into savings, I'm a happy guy. So, I do what every theatre nerd does: I work many hours a day and don't get a lot of money for it - but I love what I do. But lately, it's gotten very challenging.
My theatre hasn't been able to hold onto a managing director - the person to whom I directly report. I have been at this theatre for a little over a year, and have gone through four leadership transitions. With each new managing director, I go through my desires to grow within the institution and start working my way up the ropes. But when one leaves and another steps in, I'm back to square one. I've done this four times, and it's extremely aggravating. Everyone who has been hired within the theatre subsiquent to me has excelled and moved up - except me. I feel like I'm just getting a bunch of false starts. And whereas I feel that I have learned enough to write a textbook on how not to manage a theatre - my roles and responsibilities have not changed at all since I started the job.
As if this weren't enough - the theatre is not doing so well. Well... what theatre is doing well in this economy? But in light of decreased ticket sales and smaller contributions, the theatre is forced to but the budget by 18%. What this means is significant decreases across the board, including a 20% reduction in payroll, which either means a corresponding cut in pay or a 6 to 8-week furlough period. Like I said - I'm not in theatre for the money, but if/when this happens, my pay will no longer meet my single qualification of simply filling my everyday needs in order to live. I will either need to subsidize my pay with another job - or I can simply get another office monkey job and not be so stressed out all the time.
This is an extremely difficult conversation I am having with myself. The question, of course, is which one of these will leave me happier overall. I can't help but think that this is a lose-lose situation. On one hand, I will be working myself ragged for very little money, with the possibility of not being able to make ends meet. On the other, I will be sacraficing my career for something I won't care about.
Units of Caffeine: 2.5
Song: The More You Ignore Me, the Closer I Get - Morrissey
I think I'm just going to start scheduling time within my daily schedule to blog; otherwise, I'm just not going to do it for several months. Things at the theatre remain busy and stressful - and I am constantly asking myself questions like: "Why am I doing this?" and "Is this what I really want to do / how I want to live?" I never pursued theatre for money. Anyone who does this needs a severe kick in the ass with a reality check. Before working in the theatre, I was working as an office monkey: there was no real future, not a hell of a lot of responsibility, but it delivered a nice paycheck. But, as I said, I don't live to work - so, I continued to pursue my career in the theatre, and after a long ordeal of search, I found an entry-level position, and jumped at the offer, even though I had to take a siginificant pay cut from my last job. As long as I can afford to live and put a little into savings, I'm a happy guy. So, I do what every theatre nerd does: I work many hours a day and don't get a lot of money for it - but I love what I do. But lately, it's gotten very challenging.
My theatre hasn't been able to hold onto a managing director - the person to whom I directly report. I have been at this theatre for a little over a year, and have gone through four leadership transitions. With each new managing director, I go through my desires to grow within the institution and start working my way up the ropes. But when one leaves and another steps in, I'm back to square one. I've done this four times, and it's extremely aggravating. Everyone who has been hired within the theatre subsiquent to me has excelled and moved up - except me. I feel like I'm just getting a bunch of false starts. And whereas I feel that I have learned enough to write a textbook on how not to manage a theatre - my roles and responsibilities have not changed at all since I started the job.
As if this weren't enough - the theatre is not doing so well. Well... what theatre is doing well in this economy? But in light of decreased ticket sales and smaller contributions, the theatre is forced to but the budget by 18%. What this means is significant decreases across the board, including a 20% reduction in payroll, which either means a corresponding cut in pay or a 6 to 8-week furlough period. Like I said - I'm not in theatre for the money, but if/when this happens, my pay will no longer meet my single qualification of simply filling my everyday needs in order to live. I will either need to subsidize my pay with another job - or I can simply get another office monkey job and not be so stressed out all the time.
This is an extremely difficult conversation I am having with myself. The question, of course, is which one of these will leave me happier overall. I can't help but think that this is a lose-lose situation. On one hand, I will be working myself ragged for very little money, with the possibility of not being able to make ends meet. On the other, I will be sacraficing my career for something I won't care about.
posted by Dr. Dexter at 10:29 AM
0 comments
