A Wake-Up Call

Mood: Apprehensive
Song: N/A
Units of Caffeine: 0

I have always felt that living in Texas has made me pretty soft in many ways. I'm not saying that I was the most physically active person when I was living in the northeast, but I think there were certain elements of my everyday lifestyle that kept me relatively healthy. In high school, for instance, I would walk to and from school every day. Since the school was on the top of the hill and the round-trip walk was nearly four miles, it is easy to see how I lost a lot of weight between my freshman and senior years.

Living in north Texas is really different. For many reasons. But a lot of the differences really don't help with keeping in shape and staying healthy. First of all, as you know, I am a grad student - I know, I know; this doesn't have anything to do with Texas, but I'm already predisposed to some pretty crappy eating habits. I eat on the fly a lot, and have been known to grab whatever I can for lunch at the student union between classes. The student union at my university also doesn't really promote healthy eating habits. You can grab a burger, a slice of pizza, some nachos, fries, etc., but the only really healthy thing available is their salad bar - and even that is shot to shit if you want any salad dressing because they don't provide any low-fat or low-cal dressings. I suffered through this same crap throughout my undergraduate years as well, so I can't blame Texas for that. However, anyone who has ever eaten in Texas know that the portions are as big as the state and OMG, do Texans love fried food! It was in Texas where I was introduced to the chicken fried steak. Just like grits, it seems that every southerner has their own way of making this thing, and anything other than their way is the wrong way of preparing it. But, basically it’s a piece of cube steak which has been dipped in a mixture of buttermilk, eggs and flour, then pan-fried in bacon fat. Has your heart stopped yet? Well, if not then the country gravy, smothering the fried steak will. This is usually served with some platter-size biscuits and green beans. Oh, and don't let the green beans fool you. They are also prepared with bits of bacon and bacon fat. Since moving to Texas, I have had my share of chicken fried steak because... well... it's good. But after thinking of what it is that I'm actually consuming.... feel slightly nauseous. The Texas State Fair is also further proof of how much Texans dig fried food. I mean, there are obviously the standards such as french fries, homemade potato chips, and corn dogs, but then there are fried Twinkies, fried Oreos and fried Snickers bars too. I think the motto of the Texas State Fair should be: "Fry it and serve it with gravy!"

Exercise is also a challenge in Texas. Since most of the area of north Texas is flat, there's not much of a challenge to walking, running or biking, nor are there many trails. But even if there were numerous trails with dips, curves and valleys, no one actually wants to do anything outside for ten months out of the year anyway because it's so frigging hot. When it's 115 degrees outside, the last thing you want to do is go out and find other ways to make you sweat!

So, why then, do you ask, am I writing so much about Texas when I am currently enjoying myself in Washington? Yesterday I was reminded of how out of shape I am when K and I decided to "do" Mt. Rainier. I'm still getting used to the geography around here, and it's all just a touch deceiving. I can see Mt. Rainier from my hotel room, in all of its beautiful glory: It's big. It's magnificent. Although it's daunting as all hell, it's just begging to be climbed! So, imagine my surprise when it takes two hours to drive there. Then K and I drive into Mt. Rainier National Park with a couple of friends and drive for another forty minutes or so. We get to the visitor's center and pick a trail to hike. We pick out one that's actually pretty small: only four miles or so. Of course, the map shows the distance, but doesn't quite show the gradient. The trail we chose goes up a few thousand feet. About halfway up to the highest point, (a quarter of the way around the trail loop), K and I were dying. My legs felt like Jell-O. And let me tell you, coming down wasn't any easier! I felt like such a freaking loser. I guess what made me feel worse was seeing all these old ladies passing me on the trail. WTF!? Am I that out of shape!?

I made a vow to myself that, when I move here, I am going to tackle the mountain. Oh, sure, I may not be the type to go the summit or anything like that. But sometime within my lifetime, I want to make it to Camp Muir.

Mood: Content
Music: Now We Are Free – Hans Zimmer
Units of Caffeine – 1.5
Currently on Vacation

This week has been quite interesting… Certainly not what I was expecting.

A year ago, I was preparing for an extended trip to Dublin, Ireland to premier a new play. I was on the dawn of an amazing experience; one that I will not soon forget. During the course of my stay, I spent the most incredible New Year’s Eve in downtown Dublin. The only problem with all of this: K couldn’t come with me. It was difficult for both of us. So, when I was getting ready for all of this a year ago, I decided right then and there to plan a surprise getaway for K. I came up with a complex plan involving scheduling, deception and a way to re-structure our budget so that I could save for a vacation without K noticing a change within our day-to-day spending. For a year, I had planned a 7-day Caribbean cruise with a deluxe balcony stateroom. I had included a couple of romantic shore excursions and arranged for a dozen roses and chocolate-covered strawberries to be in the cabin once we boarded. I had bought a new tuxedo a few months ago for the occasion and arranged for K to go shopping for new clothes for the cruise, (making it look like a simple birthday present.) It was an amazing plan, and up until a few days ago, everything was working so well. I had kept my secret well. I even had K believing that we were going to some secluded location in west Texas. My cohorts, Lestat, Babs and The Nutcase also helped considerably with this plan.

Unfortunately, it was all working a little too well. A woman by the name of Rita came along and blew everything to pieces. I’m not too sure when I will end up posting this blog, but right now it is Saturday, September 24th. I was originally planning on packing today to take K down to Galveston early tomorrow morning in order to board the ship tomorrow afternoon.

After nearly a week of watching things unfold on NOAA’s web site and seeing how the citizens of Galveston and Houston were reacting to the situation, I broke down and cancelled the plan I had been working so diligently on for the past year. I felt horrible. Not only had I cancelled something I had been really looking forward to, but I was left with a week off from work with K, but no place to go and nothing to do. I was all dressed up with no place to go. Of course, the easiest thing to do would have been to throw in the towel and tell K everything was a bust. Tell her that we had to postpone our vacation for a few months. Tell her that we had to go in to work next week. The fact of the matter is that, cruise plans aside, both of us are in serious need of a vacation. We have been up to our shoulders in stress for so long that postponing a vacation was simply not an option.

So, between 2:00 Thursday afternoon and 9:00 Friday morning, I had contacted my brother in Seattle; booked plane tickets there; arranged to have a car; booked a hotel; and even arranged it all so that we would have a little bit of spending money…. All without breaking the bank. Thursday night I was so upset that my plans had crumbled; upset that I found myself scrambling at the last minute in order to arrange something. When I got home that evening, I had broken down and told K everything. Between the stress of work; the stress of the thesis not going as well as I had hoped; the stress of stage managing a show that is so poorly planned; and the stress of planning something so complex and so grand – Being forced to cancel the cruise was that proverbial straw that everyone talks about.

So, here I am. Right now I’m god knows how many feet in the air, on my way to Seattle with K sleeping in the seat next to me. What will we do when we’re there? What are our plans? Who knows? We have absolutely no agenda. The point is, we’re stepping away from our everyday lives for a week. We’re together. And for once, there is absolutely nothing that we have to do.

S + M = Director?

Mood: Drowsy
Song: Boulevard of Broken Dreams - Green Day
Units of Caffeine: Just a few sips of my first cup o' Joe
Days Until Vacation: 2

Well, it looks again as if the events in my life are keeping me from writing as much as I would like to. Thankfully, my demands at work have decreased significantly; but the demands of school have taken its place. I've been busy getting some last-minute details in order for my vacation. And then there's that other task I added to my plate: stage managing. Not only stage managing, but stage managing for a theatre organization that is still figuring out what a stage manager actually does. I mean, there's the handful of relatively unseasoned actors that still don't really know what a stage manager does, and I understand that... but the directors seem to still be on a learning curve.

Last night's rehearsal was not only a good example of this, but pretty damn funny. Early in the production process, I did my stage manager duties by sorting out the cast: i.e., who is in what scene playing what part. Since there are several members of the chorus playing multiple roles, rehearsal planning and actor calls would be a major headache if this organization wasn't complete. So, I met with the director early on and got all the information I needed. I wrote it all out and BINGO: we have a rehearsal schedule! So, last night we were working on a particular scene and the director keeps asking me, "Where is such-and-such?" and "Why isn't so-and-so here?" Each time, I respond with, "so-and-so/such-and-such is not in this scene." Then the music director comes up to the director and says to him, "I thought you had more people in this scene," to which Director responds with a somewhat boyish tone in his voice: "Well, Dr. Dexter told me that this is all the people he put in this scene."

Excuse me? Since when did I become the director and plan these scenes out? I casually reminded Director that I merely took the information he gave me and made the scene calls accordingly. He told that he specifically remembers putting more actors within the scene. But, of course, when I asked him who he would like to add to the scene, he said, "Oh, never mind. This looks good."

I sometimes forget that S+M = Production bitch.

A Touch of Irony

Mood: Ambivalent
Song: You Say - Vertical Horizon
Units of Caffeine: 7
Days Until Vacation: 4

This morning I wrote an e-mail to a friend and referred to my blog as "rantings and musings of my trivial life." He kindly responded by telling me that my life is no more trivial than anyone else's. I smiled at this and went on to my daily tasks at work. Someone obviously felt that I was being far too cocky because what do I find myself doing for over two and a half hours this afternoon? Sharpening pencils. And no, I'm not done yet! I'm only taking a break because the six, (yes, six) electric pencil sharpeners have overheated and need to cool down before they will work again.

In other news, this Thursday marks the first day of autumn, and it's still over one hundred freaking degrees outside!! When the hell is it going to start to get cool around here!?

I'll write more later....

The pencil sharpeners beckon.

And the Word is In

I am happy to report that, pending a successful thesis project, I will be graduating this December.

The Worst Feeling In The World

I don't know where to begin; even now it's actually really hard to type due to the surge of emotions rushing through me. This past week has been a beating, (which is rapidly becoming the story of my life.) I have dealt with more piles and piles of shit dealing with my thesis project, inlcuding the still unanswered question of who is fronting the money.

This morning I had to come into work early because K had to go to a press check. I don't have any problems with that; it gives me time to work on said thesis shit. So, I open up my office and start up the computers and head upstairs to buy a cup of coffee. As I'm waiting, I look at the bulletin board of public announcements not to far away and realize that I have completely missed the deadline to apply to graduate this December.

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!

The Return of the Irish Bear

Mood: Sad
Music: The buzz of the fluorescent lights - My office
Units of Caffeine: 6
Days Until Vacation: 8

I just returned from one of the weekly major's meetings that I never attend anymore. I went to deliver my schpeal about the Ren Mad, but more importantly I knew that the Irish Bear was coming to do a workshop. It was fan-fucking-tastic, but really, an hour workshop isn't enough, it really isn't. After the brief workshop, he talked about taking the Irish play we created back in January to New York City next semester. He is holding auditions in the form of a three hour workshop tomorrow afternoon and told everyone who even has a remote interest in the project to come. A friend of mine told me this might happen, and I've had a few days to think about this: Of course, I will no longer be a student next semester, but I think the department would be willing to work with me if I told them I were interested, (especially with the lack of men within the department.) But, then of course I am planning on moving in June, and I am already suffering from the mistake of taking on more than I can handle; I really don't want to do that again.

So, I made up my mind on this a day or two ago. The workshop ended; the Irish Bear stopped talking; and I headed out the door, back to my whole-in-the-wall office. The Irish Bear stopped me as I went for the door and asked if he was going to see me tomorrow. I told him that I was moving to Seattle next semester and he just looked at me and said, "So, you're answer is 'no,' then!?" We went back and forth for a while and he looked personally offended at the fact that I was not auditioning. Aside from the unique opportunity it would be, the Irish Bear is a difficult man to say no to.

It is a unique experience: the idea of taking an original work that you helped create to NYC, but I had an incredibly unique experience in Dublin last January - an experience the likes of which I don't even think NY could compare to.

Seven

Seven Things I Plan To Do Before I Die
Take K to Ireland
Direct The Rocky Horror Show
Learn how to make the perfect NY pizza
Work in the theatre
Take an Alaskan cruise
Own my house - paid in full!
Go to Venice


Seven things I can do
Cook... extremely well!
Play trombone
Play piano (a little)
Stretch a small income
Make realistic chicken noises
Speak French
Act


Seven things I can not do
Statistics
Communicate with a costume designer
Stomach a full episode of Friends
See the color red
Cartwheels
Consume Asparthame without having a reaction
Resist the power of cheese


Seven things that I find really attractive about the same sex
Talent
Determination
Good hair
Intelligence
The ability to NOT be competitive
Sophistication
Sense of humor


Seven things I say the most
Fuck that noise!
WTF?
What do you want for dinner?
Dry martini.
Cool!
10 minutes, followed closely by
5 minutes


Seven books I love
I'm Just Here for the Food - Alton Brown
Kitchen Confidential - Anthony Bourdain
All the Harry Potters - J.K. Rowling
Noises Off - Michael Frayn
Raised In Captivity - Nicky Silver
The Face Is A Canvas - Irene Corey
ANY CIA cookbook

Random Work Question of the Day

Do you sell frying pans here?

*For those who are unfamiliar: I work for a division of Student Life at a University.

Throwing It In....

Mood: Overwhelmed
Song: The Bonny Swans - Loreena McKennitt
Units of Caffeine: 1
Days Until Vacation: 9

Every have one of those days where you just feel like throwing in the towel? While I was in between my stage management duties at rehearsal last night, I took the opportunity to catch up on some of my thesis work - particularly, something on something which I should have created long ago: a proposed budget draft. Doing this was a really big reality check. It gave me a really clear view of what needs to be done within the next couple of weeks.

One problem is that there are a few major questions that have yet to be answered:
(1) How much is this thing actually going to cost?
(2) What is the initial investment?
(3) Who is going to cover the potential loss?

It's pretty funny to me that the organizations involved want to lay claim to any of the profit gains, but they nothing to do with any losses. Well, isn't that fucking great!? I wish life were that way: It would certainly make the whole stock market game a lot easier! On the plus side, I created my budget draft based on some pretty bleak numbers, including the yet unknown security costs of this event. When planning something, there are the things that you can plan on. That is to say, there are known factors. Well, this security issue was not known to me until about a month or two ago: I will need to pay for my own security at a rate of $30/hr. per man. Oh yes, and security needs to be there one hour before and one hour after the event. There is a committee on campus that determines how many security guards are needed for your event, and I am meeting with them today. Right now, my thesis project teeters between having one or two guards, but I know of one factor that WILL slide it over to the 2-guard assignment: a stupid craft-type fair which, as much as I flat out say "NO", keeps getting tossed back into my lap. I am actually in hopes that this committee tells me that, if I have the fair, it will double the cost of the security if I were to not have the fair. In this way, I can toss it back to the fair organizer and tell her that she needs to pay for it. And, I'm certain that will be the end of the whole craft fair idea!

On another note, I need a production meeting ASAP. I got in touch with my SM last week who told me she would stop by my office to talk with me on Monday or Tuesday. Well, Monday and Tuesday have come and gone and I still have yet to see my SM. No, I'm not sitting on this... I'm calling her this morning to find out what's going on. But you know what I'm getting sick of? I'm getting sick of people telling me they will be somewhere or that they will do something; and then they don't! This has been a running theme in my life over the past year or so with my responsibilities as a stage manager and as a director; and it's something that, quite frankly, I don't understand. Don't get me wrong, I know that "shit happens," making it impossible for you to do things that you have to do - But I am just amazed by the frequency of this. It is extremely improbable that this much shit could be happening. Or perhaps I'm too demanding: When someone tells me he will be somewhere, I expect him to be there. If someone tells me he will do something, I expect him to do it.

Too demanding? Expect too much of people?

Things I Hate Vol. 132

1. The snooze button.
   
   
2. Being one every morning.

What A Week!

Mood: Apprehensive
Song: I'd Do Anything For Love (But I Won't Do That)
Cups of Coffee: 1.5
Days Until Vacation: 13

Oh, my god this week has just been all kinds of suck! It has been to the point where the same thought crosses my mind at the end of every day: "I need a drink!" I feel like a damn alcoholic because of that.

Work continues to be a bear because it is taking me an insanely long amount of time to hire people. I have been in the process of hiring student assistants for the past month now, and every single time I think that I am done hiring people, I find myself right back at square one. The first time I thought I had someone all lined up to be hired; I found that I had the wrong scheduling information for the student assistants I already had working for me. The second time I thought I had someone hired, it went to shit because the office of International Education lost the student's paperwork, making her unable to work in the U.S. for another three or four months. I felt so bad for that poor girl! And my latest story: I spent the entire morning contacting references on a particular student and called her around noon to offer her the position. She accepted! Yay! So, I told her that I just needed a bit of time to come up with a schedule and I would e-mail it to her around 2:30.

Creating the work schedule is just as challenging as hiring someone because it isn't as if I can hire students for a regular shift of "every Monday and Wednesday from noon to 4 and Thursdays from 8 to 11," sort of thing. No, each student has an individual schedule with classes, meetings, advisor conflicts, etc... So, it really does take several hours to complete a work schedule. So...I came up with a schedule right at 2:30, as I thought I would and e-mail this student her hours. During the job interview, I told her that I would schedule her to work between 10 and 20 hours per week, during our regular office hours, scheduling her around her classes, conflicts, etc. I scheduled her for 15 hours per week. Fifteen minutes after I e-mailed her, she called exclaiming that there was no way that she could work the hours I scheduled her. I asked her if I accidentally scheduled her during a class or something. She said, "no", and continued to say that I had schedule her for way too many hours. On one particular day, I scheduled her for some hours between her classes and she complained that, between work and classes, that that would be a 12-hour day for her. I got very angry and didn't even try to conceal it when I talked to her. I told her that, the first think we discussed in the interview were the hours that I was looking for and pointed out that, when I asked her if we were on the same page with what she was looking for and what I was looking for in hours, she said, "yes." Now, after spending half a day contacting references and near another half creating a schedule, she basically tells me that she lied to me. I told her that, in the future, when talking to a potential employer, she needs to be frank with what she is looking for and told her that she completely wasted my time before hanging up on her.

On top of this are my challenges with stage managing a show that has a bit if it's own drama that has absolutely nothing to do with what's in the script - and there have been some demands for some thesis work to be done. So, this weekend I am screening all of my calls and doing a bit of thesis-related work. If it even looks like a call is coming from a member of the directorial staff or a cast member (friends excluded), I'm not going the answer it.

Going back to the part about the student assistant again - I guess all of this work on my plate is what has made me less sensitive to her complaining to me about the amount of hours she had. Do not complain to me about putting in one 12-hour day a week, when I put in 14- to 15-hour days every day of the week. When you're already a full-time student and you're looking for a job at the same time, having some long days is part of the package.

So, everyone... it looks as if my blog entries will be a bit sparse this semester. But I do have some good news! I scheduled my audition dates and created the framework for my rehearsal schedule; I have a meeting with my stage manager early next week; AND my advisor e-mailed me my crew assignments. For the first time, I don't feel as if I'm carrying the full weight of this project.

Huzzah!

Five

10 years ago I was: A Sophomore in college; irresponsible - still not knowing what I wanted to do with anything.

5 years ago I was: Living... or rather, dying in Las Vegas. Without a doubt, the lowest point in my life.

1 year ago I was: Just informed that I didn't get the job in the Honors Scholar program. It was at that point that I realized that it was near time for me to leave Texas and move on with my life.

Yesterday I was: Stuffing my face with Johnny Carino's after an unfortunate meeting.

5 snacks I enjoy: Ranch Quakes, Extreme Pizza Goldfish, Sour Cream & Onion Baked Lays, popcorn, extra sharp Vermont cheddar cheese and crackers with roasted garlic and onion jam.

5 songs I know all the words to: What Do You Do With a B.A. In English; Love, I Hear; Bohemian Rhapsody; Brian Wilson; Come What May

5 things I would do with 100 million dollars: Buy a house by the sae with plenty of windows and a large kitchen with all Viking appliances; Buy my own theatre and create a season incorporating new and creative ideas; Cruise around the world; move out of the U.S.; comission a new musical.

5 places I would run away to: Ireland, Vermont, Grand Cayman, Venice, New York City

5 things I would never wear: Anything pink; bell-bottoms; spandex; "bug-eye" sunglasses; a speedo.

5 favorite TV shows: Six Feet Under, CSI, The Simpsons, Iron Chef, Good Eats.

5 bad habits: Cracking my knuckles; doubting my abilities; procrastinating; following my head when I should follow my heart; being too meticulous over trivial things.

5 biggest joys: K, my cats, my brother, my friends, theatre.

5 favorite toys: k, my cats, my digital piano, my laptop, and one of the various "toys" I keep in the kitchen.

The Holiday Weekend

Mood: Tired
Song: She Will Be Loved - Maroon 5
Cups of Coffee: 1

This past weekend was supposed to be a 3-day weekend, but it did not even feel like a regular 2-day weekend. I really didn't get a chance to do anything that I wanted to do, and it was anything but relaxing. For one, the whole thing with Katrina; the devistation; the lack of response; the fiasco - It is difficult to relax when thinking about all of this, and it's damn near impossible not to think about it. On top of this, my job as a stage manager was not able to take a vacation.

Ugh!

All I can say is that in three weeks I am taking a TRUE vacation. My cell phone will be turned off and I will not be working... on anything.