Love & Hate
Mood: Uneasy
Song: None
Units of Caffeine: 3
Days Until Vacation: 61
I talked with my father last night and I’ve booked my ticket: I will be visiting my parents in a few weeks. Normally, I love the prospect of traveling – even if it is back to my home town, which isn’t all that exciting. (I mean, it’s been over two years since I’ve been “home,” and it is nice to go back every once in a while.) But I have mixed feeling about this particular trip. It’s very strange the way I feel because I want to see them – I want to see them, but, at the very same time, I am not looking forward to the crap that comes with seeing them: their apathy; their passive-aggressive behavior; and their general craziness: (my parents both put their work ahead of everything else in their lives, and my mother… well, there’s no other way of putting this: my mother flat out lies about several random things.) I just don’t know if I’m ready to deal with that – Especially when K can’t come with me. My brother has graciously offered to pay for a rental car for me in the likely event that I need to get out of the house. Yes – my parents have vehicles, but nothing I can or am willing to drive: My father has a truck that is falling apart and my mother has a car that she won’t let anyone else drive.
I don’t know why the thoughts on this trip are bothering me so much - I am feeling pulled between a need to see them and an angry frustration over them. I hate feeling like this.
Song: None
Units of Caffeine: 3
Days Until Vacation: 61
I talked with my father last night and I’ve booked my ticket: I will be visiting my parents in a few weeks. Normally, I love the prospect of traveling – even if it is back to my home town, which isn’t all that exciting. (I mean, it’s been over two years since I’ve been “home,” and it is nice to go back every once in a while.) But I have mixed feeling about this particular trip. It’s very strange the way I feel because I want to see them – I want to see them, but, at the very same time, I am not looking forward to the crap that comes with seeing them: their apathy; their passive-aggressive behavior; and their general craziness: (my parents both put their work ahead of everything else in their lives, and my mother… well, there’s no other way of putting this: my mother flat out lies about several random things.) I just don’t know if I’m ready to deal with that – Especially when K can’t come with me. My brother has graciously offered to pay for a rental car for me in the likely event that I need to get out of the house. Yes – my parents have vehicles, but nothing I can or am willing to drive: My father has a truck that is falling apart and my mother has a car that she won’t let anyone else drive.
I don’t know why the thoughts on this trip are bothering me so much - I am feeling pulled between a need to see them and an angry frustration over them. I hate feeling like this.
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