I Can't Stay Away From It

Mood: Tired
Song: Just Like Heaven - The Cure
Cups of Coffee: 1

Lately I've started having this feeling that I have been away from the theatre enough and it's time to get back into the swing of things. Of course, a few potential problems creep into my plans of wanting to do something: Over the past few months, my boss has dumped a record amount of work onto my desk - Will this continue? Will I have time to do anything other than work? And what of this week in September in which I plan to take off and get away from it all? How will K and I be able to do projects as a 1-car family? And, most importantly, how do I whet my appetite for theatre projects without infringing on my thesis project?

I really wanted to get back onto the stage; not only that, but do something that was worth doing - Not just some worthless piece of fluff like Guys & Dolls, but something meaningful. A local theatre company will be auditioning for Inherit the Wind within the next couple of weeks. Now this is a show that I would love to do; but alas, there is that whole thing with K and I sharing a vehicle that sort of gets in the way.

So then I heard that the local theatre putting on a production of Seussical, the Musical was in desperate need of a stage manager. "Well," thought I, "it's not a meaningful on-stage role, but it is a meaningful off-stage role." As much as this was not my original plan, it actually solves quite a few problems: I don't feel stagnant anymore. I get to put a musical on my stage management resume. The show goes up next month, so it won't get in the way of my thesis project. I get to do something I enjoy doing. And K and I are working on the same show. (Now, if I can only get her to sign in when she's supposed to. Hmmmmmm.) But honestly, one thing that really sucks when either or both of us are working on shows is that we never get to see each other. Now that won't be a problem. Of course, we're now faced with the problem of having a messy house all the time and that feeling of being extremely ravenous when you get home from a rehearsal and having to wait while I get dinner together. I think there may be some Lean Cuisines in our near future; which reminds me - later this week K and I get to go grocery shopping!! I know, I know: "Who gets excited about grocery shopping?" Well, since we've been extremely broke this past month, we haven't done any major grocery shopping in almost a month; only going to the grocery store for the necessities: bread, milk, toiletries, etc... But other than that, K and I have been living on pantry cuisine: Making meals on whatever we have in our pantry and freezer. Last night I tried to do something to some pork chops - It was a disaster. Oh well... just 2 more days to survive.

MS and the Obvious

Mood: There
Song: Meet Virginia - Train
Cups of Coffee: 2.5

And, in the vein of the Great Harmondo, here's the countdown:


4 Days until payday

6 Days until a 3-day weekend

27 Days until my vacation

104 Days until a get my Masters

276 Days until we move


Ah, yes, it's that time of month again where I complain about the state of my finances. Don't you just love that feeling you get when you get your monthly bank statement; you balance your account; you notice some transactions that you forgot to include in your own records; and you realize that you have a significantly negative balance? Mmmmmm, hot damn that's a great feeling! I love bank statements: the monthly reminder of how bad the state of my finances are.

*le sigh*

Oh, yes, and I have found yet another annoying thing about a Microsoft product: I use MS Money to organize my finances. It's a great program, but a bit parental. After balancing my account, a message appeared on the top right-hand corner of the screen that read:

"Your total available cash has been decreasing."

REALLY!? Are you kidding? I mean, I didn't notice the large red number in parenthesis at the bottom of my screen staring at me as if to exclaim: "THIS IS HOW MUCH MONEY YOU DON'T HAVE, YOU LOSER!" I'm almost waiting for the program to berate me with a popup widow when entering a transaction:

"Did you really need that pound of Starbucks Premium French Roast?"

I think this would happen if my in-laws wrote an accounting program.

Blowing Monkeys

Mood: Insane
Song: Hella Good - No Doubt
Cups o' Joe: Only two, dammit!

Okay, so if I haven't said it before, (which I know I have), I am SO ready for fall to be here. Right now I am just living for Labor Day, not so much because it is a three day weekend, (which, don't get me wrong, is nice), but because it signifies that fall is here. No, September isn't all that much cooler than August in Texas, but I know that it will be cool soon - and most importantly, the orientation season will be officially over!!!! I just can't wait! Today marks the last orientation program that my office is offering, and then we have a 4-day welcome program for which we have a jungle theme, including several inflatable animals. Unfortunately, these animals have the tendancy to deflate after a day or two. I've been so busy as of late that I haven't really given much thought of the things that come out of my mouth until they are already out there. Yesterday I noticed that the animals were severly limp so I gave my student assistants the following instructions: "T, could you blow the elephant and J, would you please blow the monkeys?"

It's only Wednesday, folks. I'll be here all week.

Everything Ends

The last episode of Six Feet Under was on last night and OMG was it good! Normally, I am not one to get so worked up over a television program - In fact, I usually make a point not to get so attached to the "idiot box", but DAMN, this episode was good. Perhaps the best series finale to date. I watched it last night and I am still coming off from the emotional journey it took me on.

The Art of Writing

Mood: Introspective
Song: No One Is To Blame - Howard Jones
Cups of Coffee: Working on my first

Well, I'm not going to make the same mistake I did yesterday and not drink any coffee until something like 5:00 in the evening. I had a terrible bout of caffeine withdrawal and it felt like I was having a bad hangover, except I didn't have the benefit of getting drunk the night before. So, the pot is brewed and I have a little writing time before my weekly chat with my bro.

Well, a lot of work was done this past week with regards to the Renaissance Madrigal banquet, (hereafter referred to as Ren Mad). In a recent blog, I wrote about the nightmare that occurred this past week with losing my venue. I am happy to report that I have a venue again! It was stressful; it was a bit of work and a lot of compromising, but the point is that I have a space in which to perform. Actually, it all works out for the best: The space I had originally booked were two empty ballrooms sans curtains, shades, etc... It was a free space, but had some major acoustical issues which were (pardon the pun) amplified by the fact that there was nothing in the room to help absorb the sound. Last Friday, I met with the building manager who was really great in working with me. I lost one of the ballroom spaces, but I can work with that - And the ballroom she gave me has curtains and shades. It's still a ballroom, so it still has the same acoustical challenges as the previous spaces, but at least there is something to help with that problem.

With that major fire dealt with this past week, I felt extremely exhausted to the point where it was a bit of a struggle for me to continue with a read-through that I had planned for last night. Yesterday, my day was spent writing and tweaking scenes here and there to use as filler or alternatives in case scenes from the main script didn't work out well. This is one huge difference between your regular night of theatre and an interactive madrigal banquet: There is room for a lot of flexibility, including the script. In fact, the authors of the madrigal script that I purchased included a letter that stated this fact and included permission to cut, add, tweak, change, dismantle and deconstruct their script. So, last night I had a few friends come over for some snacks and some alcohol, and we read the main script and most of the scenes I had written out. It was great to get their feedback on a lot of issues I was having and more interestingly, it was great to go the process of a new script again. I remember doing required read-throughs for my playwriting classes in college and thought they were a beating. Now that I respect the process quite a bit more than my undergrad years, I really enjoy hearing the words I've created and seeing what works and doesn't work. Since this is the first draft and the first time I've done something like this in many years, there were some painful moments in the evening, but all well worth it. I tried to really incorporate rhyme scheme within my scenes, and I think the funniest parts of the evening for me were when things just obviously didn't rhyme at all, at which point I would thing: "What the hell was I thinking when I wrote that!?" Which of course was highlighted when my "acting troupe" would say, "Some of the lines don't even rhyme at all." Oh, the truth hurts. Of course, I did write most of these scenes at work which is filled with constant interruptions. (Damn work! How can they actually expect me to work at work?) When a phrase didn't work, all I could think of were those times when I had great momentum and the words and rhyme were flowing and the phone would ring. Ugh!

But, aside from those few painful moments for the author, it was a very productive and amusing evening. My favorite part of the evening was when Lestat, using a falsetto voice, read lines about being a queen and dealing with pissed off fairies! Priceless!!! Many, many thanks to Catpants, Lestat and the Nutcase for not only helping me with the first step in involving other people in the artistic process of the project, but for a very enjoyable evening!

Goodbye Intrepid

Mood: Nostalgic
Music: Your Song - Elton John
Cups of Coffee: 0

Well, K and I are now officially a one-car family. After starting to pour between $400 and $600 into the 1995 Dodge Intrepid every four months, we made a decision this past May to not sink any more money into it. So, when the transmission started clunking in June, we decided that it was the end. So, I am sure that you are asking yourself, "If you felt the car going in June, why is it that you are finally doing something about it at the end of August?" There's actually an easy explanation for this: This is the first car that K and I have had that we've "run into the ground," so to speak. So, when the car was officially dubbed as being "run into the ground," we really didn't know what to do with it. So, for two and a half months we did research as to what to do with it and received advice from several people about it. In the meantime, I was kinda' getting sick of seeing the thing just sitting in my driveway... not to mention the insurance that I was still paying on it. Last weekend, as I was having my weekly phone conversation to my bro in Seattle, we were talking about our mom and how she takes forever to actually do anything. My bro said, "You know, she spends so much time trying to find out what to do and seeking advice about what to do that she never gets around to doing anything about it." At that point it dawned on me that I put myself in the same position with the Intrepid. After that phone call, we made the decision to donate the car and get a pretty good deduction on this year's taxes. I contacted the appropriate organization and the car was just picked up about ten minutes ago.

As much as I'm glad to be rid of that headache, I can't help but feel a bit nostalgic about the loss of it. K and I had a lot of good memories associated with that car: we referred to it as the "beach car" when we lived in Florida for a summer, because we were always going to Jensen Beach in it; and I remember driving it to upstate NY from Dallas after we visited K's parents during spring break one year.

But it's gone now and the memories remain. I am not happy to say that my insurance rates will actually go up, now that I have removed my vehicle from the policy! I called my agent the other day to make arrangements to remove the car from the policy today and it turns out that our multi-car discount was more than the cost that I was paying to keep the Intrepid on the policy, so my rates are going up about $30 per month. How fucked up is that? I felt like asking them to just keep me insured for a vehicle that I no longer had - Well, actually, I did make an inquiry about it, but no, I couldn't do it.

So now the question remains: Will K and I be able to survive in Texas with one car? Since we haven't been driving the Intrepid, we really have been living as a one-car family for a while now, but then again, it's the summer: K and I are not both heavily involved with anything at the moment. Well, K is, but I'm not. I can't imagine that things will be easy once I start getting deep into my thesis project and K is working on her own things. But we'll see. I know that right now I am getting some severe cabin fever. K has been out every night this week for meetings, auditions, rehearsals, etc., and I've been stuck in the house. Understand that I'm not blaming K for this. I actually blame my state and local governments for not providing adequate bike lanes and public transportation. There's another problem with biking at this time of year in Texas: It's fucking hot! We have had so many 100+ days that I have lost count, and it doesn't show any signs of getting any cooler for a long time. If I remember correctly, it doesn't begin to cool down until the end of October. So we have to endure at least two more months of this shit.

Well, we shall see how things go. At this point, we can't get another vehicle no matter how much we might want or need one. We still have a couple of payments left on the Cavalier, and we simply cannot afford two car notes. Especially with gas prices how they are.

So, goodbye Intrepid. You were a good ride.

Please Leave Message After Bears

Mood: F*cking Tired!
Song: Miles Ahead – Miles Davis
Cups of Coffee: 5.5

Oh, god… Why am I so damn tired today? It’s not as if I went on some kind of a bender last night or anything like that. On the contrary: I knew I’d be getting up at the ass crack of dawn, so I went to bed at a very reasonable hour. (Although, I did wake up a couple of times, entirely soaked in sweat. Yeah. I know. Pleasant thought). Again, I can’t wait for the days of winter to be here. I swear that I’m leaving the windows open with fans a blowing ALL the time during the winter months in Seattle.

So, last night while K was out at call backs, I decided to sit down and do some more writing for the madrigal… Ugh! The creative process is really the only thing that’s keeping me going with this project. I haven’t even been able to create a rehearsal schedule yet because I’ve been so hung up on the lack of a performance space. I was supposed to have a meeting with the director of the school’s banquet hall yesterday about this whole thing which was postponed to this afternoon because she was out sick yesterday. A few minutes ago I received an e-mail from her again asking to bump the meeting back another hour. I am getting so sick of this. I wanted to feel a little better about this, so I started doing some research on other venues in the area. I just hate feeling like there isn’t any movement on anything. A lot is hinging on this one meeting. But looking at other venues just made me even more depressed. Already, without the cost of venue rental hanging over my head, I was getting ulcers as to how this thing is going to be paid for. Yeah, that’s another issue I’m trying to deal with.

You know, I’m not saying that my thesis project ought to be easy, but I honestly feel that I’m dealing with a lot more headaches than the average grad student. I mean, I sat back last year and watched as four graduate students floated through their thesi:

One “directed” a production at the county courthouse, (which the department secured) and really didn’t develop any of the characters, nor did he give any adequate staging.

Another directed a one-act piece of crap that I stage managed and watched every night not knowing whether to laugh or cry.

The other two were involved in a production that I acted in at a dinner theatre last year. One student directed while the other stage managed. (Yes, I love the fact that I stage manage and I get a pat on the back, yet this other student stage manages and gets his Masters!) All of the details of the dinner theatre project were arranged by the department so all the student director needed to do was simply direct.

Nice, eh? Perhaps since I am not one to sit on my ass and do things to “just get by”, people naturally expect more from me. This is actually what goes on at my job, (my boss has admitted it to me), and it’s frustrating there too. So, what are we teaching people to do? Be underachievers? Looks like it to me!

So, with my daily rant about my thesis project out of the way, onto some humor… I thought the link that the Nutcase provided was hilarious and had flashbacks of it when one of my student assistants called a student for me and got an answering machine with an outgoing message that said, “Thank you for calling. Please leave message after bears.”

Step, Step, Kick...

Break legs, everyone!!! You know who you are!

That Certain Feeling

Mood: Depressed
Song: Black No. 1 - Type O Negative
Cups of coffee: 2

Lately I've been feeling kind of depressed. I think it started a month or so ago and it has just progressed. Part of it stems from the fact that I feel like I'm in a perpetual state of waiting - I mean, I feel like I have been working non-stop for years now. Every time I say something like "I'm going to take some time off from x" or "I'm just going to relax" it's like the kiss of death. This past weekend I took Friday off and planned on doing "a whole lot of nothing", but no... I spent the three days working around the house. I tried, I really did, but I just could not relax. On a larger scale, I look at this summer: I deliberately didn't participate in any theatre productions this year. This is the first year in 6 or so years that I did not do at least one show. Seeing as how participating in a production takes a load of time, I thought that my summer was going to be free and easy. What a load of crap! I have never been busier at work. In fact, I'm glad I didn't do any shows this summer or I would have frigging killed someone. But now I feel so bogged down with work that I can't really do anything fun.

Speaking of fun, let's talk about my thesis for a moment: Now I know that one doesn't normally put the words "fun" and "thesis" in the same sentence, but with respect to the performing arts, there is some fun involved. However, the fun within my project has yet to come to light. Right now I feel as if I've been dealt a huge, steaming pile of shit! All I have been doing is a buttload of administrative work: finding and securing a venue; contracting a caterer; finding a script; etc... Seeing as how I hope to get a job in arts administration, this is all really good training, but this is not what I signed on to do - This is not my thesis project! My project was to do research on the commedia style of theatre and direct a masque for an annual Renaissance Madrigal banquet. Somehow, I have taken on the bulk of the weight of this thing; So much so that I had time to do any research - I've been so busy with the administrative tasks. This morning, K had to be up early for work, so I went into my office at the same time and took the opportunity to begin the fun part of my thesis project - Writing scenes for the banquet - the creative side of what I'm doing. I didn't get a page and a half into it when I got an e-mail stating that I had lost the venue that I had secured this past spring!

I know thesis projects aren't supposed to be easy, but god dammit!

So, needless to say that I have a bunch of meetings lined up over the next few weeks to deal with all of this shit, including a meeting with my thesis committee: I'm going to try to appeal to them to change the structure of my thesis project to include the administrative tasks involved with the planning of the entire event and lose part of the research I was supposed to do this summer.

Other than that, I guess I'm just dying to get involved in the performing aspect of what I do again. And I don't mean that I just want to jump right in and do the first thing that comes up - I want to do something worth doing! I can't tell you how sick I am of doing a piece of scholck; or something that's not even half-baked, but quarter-baked; or doing something that has all the potential to be good, but is lost because the audience is so small. Do you know how much energy is drained from a production from such a simple thing as having a small audience? I was even disenchanted with the Dublin project. Don't get me wrong; I had some of the best training of my career over in Ireland, and I wouldn't give it up for the world - But the production aspect of it was mis-cast and whereas I and a few others involved with the project took so much from it and used it; others just did the same old shit that they always do and simply used the Dublin experience as a vehicle to get drunk in another country. Well, yeah... it's hard not to get drunk in the drinking capital of the world with Guinness and Jameson in the back yard, but come on people! Play hard, work hard! This type of attitude left for an uneven cast in an uneven show, at best.

So, I'm waiting to do something. Not waiting to do something great, but just do something that's worth doing. I'm also waiting for a vacation. I'm waiting to graduate. I'm waiting to move. I'm waiting for the next chapter in my life to begin! You know what it's like to read a chapter of a book that you enjoy and are just reading it to get on with it - That feels like my life right now.

One thing I'm not waiting for is my birthday. Perhaps it's because of K's recent festivities that's brought this idea to the front burner of my mind, but I'm just not looking forward to my birthday in the slightest. I don't understand this fear of turning 30, I really don't. I have gotten married; am I the eve of accomplishing something I never thought I would with my career in theatre; I studied abroad; I moved far away from my hometown; I own my own house - Many more accomplishments within my 20's than the average Joe, I think, but these things still don't change the way I feel. Every time I think about turning 30, I get very stiff and feel like crying.

Why do I feel like this?

Sober

There's a shadow just behind me,
shrouding every breath I take,
making every promise empty,
pointing every finger at me.
Waiting like a stalking butler
who upon the finger rests.
Murder now the path called "must we"
just before the son has come.
Jesus, won't you fucking whistle
something but the past and done?

Why can't we not be sober?
I just want to start this over.
Why can't we drink forever.
I just want to start things over.

I am just a worthless liar.
I am just an imbecile.
I will only complicate you.
Trust in me and fall as well.
I will find a center in you.
I will chew it up and leave,
I will work to elevate you
just enough to bring you down.

Trust me.

Mother Mary won't you whisper
something but what's past and done.

Trust me.

I want what I want.

Tool

EFFING MICROSOFT PRODUCTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mood: Pissed
Song: Jeremy - Pearl Jam
Units of Caffeine: 3

OMG! I can't begin to express how pissed I am right now!!! (Oh, but I will try!) I just blogged about something that was really, REALLY bothering me over the past month or two.... Something I have had a difficult time expressing... Something that took me an hour or so to blog about; taking a lot out of me. Not some stupid survey. Not some fluffy posting about a squirrell in a dress of anything like that; but something that was 100% pure me! But when I went to post it, the stupid, motherhumping Windows update software kicked in and shut off the damned computer - thus losing my blog posting!

Well, I guess I can be happy about one thing: I was feeling really depressed. But there's nothing that can take you out of a blue funk more than something that pisses the living shit out of you! (I realize that statement doesn't make a lick of sense, but who the fuck cares! I'm fucking pissed off, here!)

Where Are We Going?

Mood: Slightly depressed
Song: Dream On - Aerosmith
Caffeine Units: 9 or 10

K is away and although this is supposed to be my Friday, I'm a touch depressed. I guess I just wish there were a way to turn my mind off. You see, as soon as I have a moment to myself, when I'm not really doing anything, I start thinking of the things that I should be doing. A couple of the topics that my mind shifts to is moving to Seattle and, something that's a bit closer on the calendar, a surprise vacation that I'm planning for K.

You see, I have always wanted to plan a surprise trip for K. Now, I have surprised her with a weekend getaway to San Antonio before, but I mean, I wanted to surprise her with something completely, totally amazing. Optimally, I would want to just pick her up from work and just take her someplace, and just have this amazing, spur-of-the-moment romantic thing. Well, unfortunately, K and I are the busiest people in the world, so doing something so amazing, with little to no notice is just impossible. So, a few months ago, I asked her if she wouldn't mind me planning something with the agreement that I would just give her some dates and she would have to take them off. Nothing more will be said until we get closer to the date, at which time I will tell her more information, (without telling exactly where we are going). No doubt she will read this entry, so no surprises will be given away here, folks.

The problem comes from the seemingly endless stream of shit that seems to flow my way; getting in the way of my plans. Every time I turn around, there is another stupid expense of some sort! Because of this, I have had to cut corners. With this wonderful unexpected expense of the carpenter ants, I had to cut major parts of the corners to the point that the cut went a little beyond the corners and into the body of the thing. K has always known that we're on a tight budget, but I just hope and pray that I don't have to cut anymore.

Ugh! If only I had not to worry about money. :-(

It's Friday!!!

Mood: Thrilled
Song: China - Tori Amos
Units of Caffeine: 8?

Alright, alright... it's only Friday for ME! Yes, I have found a way of skipping a day of the week! It's tres scientific: I'm taking tomorrow off from work. No, I'm not taking off for anyplace exotic or anything like that; just staying at home and doing a whole lot of nothing! Well, that's the plan anyway. I'm sure I'll find something to do, but it is my goal, anyway, not to do anything work-related.

In the meantime, I have a little over 90 minutes of the workday left and I am totally lacking in motivation. Instead, I think I shall look up pictures from the all-rodent version of Little House on the Prairie. Hmmmm.......

The Church of George

Mood: Weird
Song: One Night In Bangkok - Cast of CHESS
Cups of Coffee: Still only 4, but a few cans a Diet Coke as well

Alright, so I just received an invitation to a Yahoo Group called the First Church of the Divine George. Usually, I just delete spam, but my curiosity got the best of me. So here it is:


Description:
We who belong to the First Church of the Divine George believe in the innate Godhood of all human beings, but the Godhood of George W. Bush has been stolen by an evil spirit and replaced by a creature from the deepest pit of hell.

But, our Exalted Master, Swami Rama Dhama Ding Dong teaches that we may overcome the media-spun illusions that hides the Divine George, and by revealing the Divine George, the American Empire shall be redeemed.

But to reveal the Divine George, we must dedicate our lives to prayer, sacrifice and we must turn our credit cards over to our Exalted Master, Swami Rama Dhama Ding Dong.



Hey Tom! Sounds like there's a new religion out there for you! Grab Katie and your credit cards and head to your nearest FCDG temple!

Food

Mood: Hungry
Cups of Coffee: 4

I read recently about a guy who spent a year taking photographs of everything he consumed and published it. And he's making money off of this.

You know, why is it that I have a difficult enough time finding money to do something interesting and/or practical, yet some moron can just take pictures of things he eats and get a truckload for it? Well, here's my contribution to that idea - The above picture is what I had for breakfast this morning... now give me my two cents!

And while I'm on the topic of food and money, let me go off on this little rant: Why the hell does it cost so much to eat healthy? Over the past few weeks, K and I have made an extra effort to eat healthier: cutting out fried foods; eating little to no red meat; eating fruit instead of cake; etc... Last weekend, I did most of my grocery shopping in the produce section. I spent an hour or so, making a menu for the week and creating a list so as not to make any compulsive purchased and thus save money. By the time I was done shopping, my cart was half as full as it normally is and yet I spent 35% more than I normally do!

It blows my mind that this country has an ever-growing problem with obesity and yet the food industry really doesn't do much to help. This topic is touched upon in Morgan Spurlock's documentary, Super Size Me, but it really hits home when you're experiencing it first hand. I can get a ton more overly-processed, fatty, salt-ladened food than I can healthy options for a certain price. Don't believe me? Go to Taco Bell and see what you can get for $10 as opposed to healthy options at the grocery store for $10.

*sigh*

Sorry, but...

... there are so many funny things about this picture.

Welcome to My Weekend

Mood: Relaxed
Song: Two Princes - Spin Doctors
Cups of Coffee: Pot's brewing as I type...

So, after some crap dealing with the Xanga mirror of this blog, I made the spur-of-the-moment decision to get rid of it, then (a few hours later) realized that it was just a dumb spur-of-the-moment decision and tried to get back into my account. Well, unlike Blogger, it looks as if once you've gotten rid of your journal, you're SOL: I've been fighting with Xanga's login screen now for two days, and I think it's safe to say that Xanga is going to win this fight. Oh well... Perhaps it's for the better, and just solidifies some of my reasons for not really liking Xanga very much: not very user-friendly unless you give them money.

But after a week of shear hell, the weekend is here and there are no worries. (Well, not too many anyway). Really there are only two worries: why my computer can't open up certain pages on the net (virus?) and how the hell K and I are going to get through the rest of this month with as little money as we have. I did indulge a little yesterday: a had my monthly massage and we ordered a pizza for dinner. Unfortunately, I can't help but feel a little guilty for these things. I mean, if we don't have a lot of money, why the hell am I wasting it on things like massages and pizza? I guess I'm just so sick of making sacrifices. Over the past few months, I have made some pretty big changes in my day-to-day living in order to save money: I've cut massages from every Friday to once a month; I cancelled my subscription to the newspaper; K and I don't go out to eat nearly as much as we used to; and I've taken to spending an hour or so planning out the week in order to be an econo-shopper at the grocery store. I feel like if I cut any more, K & I will be surviving, but not really living.

The amazing thing is that I'm not as stressed out about this as about two or three days ago. That's the effect that my massages have on me: I seriously believe that if everyone in the world had a half-hour massage as little as once a month, the world would be a different place. It's not that I'm just more relaxed after a massage (which I am), but it's almost as if my whole mind and spirit are recharged, and that feeling lasts for a few weeks until it's time for my next scheduled massage. It's wonderful... I just hope that I have the means to continue this natural therapy in Seattle.

Before I continue with my non-stress weekend of just reading, watching a little TV and napping, I do have to mention one of the highlights of this past week's orientation:

All of the summer freshman orientations are two days long. One of the more popular questions I get asked is why these sessions are two days in length. The simple answer is that there's a lot of stuff to cover. I mean, if you think about it, going from high school to college life is a huge change in lifestyle! With a few exceptions, for twelve years, most people have been taken by the hand and spoon-fed what to think; how to feel; when to wake up; when to go to bed; when to eat; what to eat; when to go the bathroom; etc.... a very controlled environment. Sure there are some baby steps along the road to autonomy, from elementary to jr. and/or sr. high school. But then, BANG! Over the course of the summer; a few short months; these same people who were being sent to the principal's office for just fogetting a parent's excuse for being 10 minutes late are now (usually) living on their own; making their own decisions; fully accountable for their own actions. If you skip a class in college, no one (many times, not even the instructor), is going to say anything to you - It's your decision. You choices may have certain consequences, however. Whereas there may not be anyone to say anything to you about your cutting a few days of classes; you choice to cut class will be reflected in your grade. It's just one of many examples of the difference in lifestyle. One of the many reasons why the freshman orientation takes 48 hours.

But still, there are many freshman who have the typical adolescent ideal that they know everything there is to no and no one is going to tell them otherwise. I fell into this category during my first year and a half of college. These students feel that they do not need much (if any) of the information presented at the orientation and simply want to be advised... no, not advised... they don't want an adviser to tell them what they need to do to complete their degree plan... they just want to register for classes and get the hell out of there. (I think if one were to do a study, one would find that these students feel the same way about their overall degree plan: they just want to graduate and get the hell out of there... completely disrespecting their instructors and class studies along the way. My office is starting to touch on such a study, and after a bit more data, I think we can prove that these types of students don't make it past their first year of college). But I digress... So, these students come to orientation... more specifically, they usually come to the last two orientations we offer with most of them coming to the very last orientation. They are not usually a vocal about their discontent of being their when they check-in, but by the second day, they let everyone know about it. Now, the second day of the orientation is usually reserved for advisement and concludes with registering for classes early in the afternoon. Since there are a massive amount of freshmen at these orientations, they all cannot register for classes at the same time - the university does not have enough support staff to handle them all at the same time. So, we divide them up into manageable group sizes and randomly draw the groups when it comes time to register. SO many students are NOT happy with this method. (Of course, I challenge them to come up with a better idea). So, I end up hearing many excuses as to why certain students have to register early. Here are the top five excuses, and yes, they are in order of popularity:

(1) My grandfather/grandmother just died/was rushed to the emergency room.

(2) I'm not feeling well and have to leave early.

(3) My mother/father/sister/brother is sick and I have to leave early,

(4) I didn't know it was going to be two days. (Although all of our mailings, brochures, web site information, etc. specifically shows that it is a two day program).

(5) I have a flight that leaves at 2:00. (Why would you schedule a flight at that time, knowing it is a two day program?)

Perhaps what disturbs me the most is the number one excuse for having to leave early: A terminally ill or deceased grandparent. Where are your morals??? Now, granted, I realize that things like this happen, and it is an extremely difficult thing to deal with when it does happen - All the more reason that I am troubled by people who simply use this as an excuse. At the last two orientations there were no fewer than 20 people who came up to me with this excuse. Out of a group of 175 students, what are the odds than 20 of them have grandparents that died on the morning of the second day of orientation? What sickens me even more is that because so many students are so cavalier with this lie that I am not willing to believe the student who may be telling the truth! But yes, 20+ students with this excuse. And unless I read that a nursing home had a tragic fire, I do not feel guilty about telling these students that they have to wait.

Now, every once in a while we hear an excuse that is completely original, (i.e. more believable) and I'm willing to work with them, if, at the very least, for coming up with something that's a bit more plausible. But yesterday I heard an excuse that was so unbelievable; so fantastic that I was honestly at a loss for words. I was in my office and heard a student come up to one of my employees and tell him that her mom was feeling sick and she needed to register for classes and go. Here's how the dialogue went:

Student: "My mom's feeling sick. Is there any way possible that I could register for my classes early?"

(Hearing this, I roll my eyes and wait for the inevitable request for the student to speak to someone with more authority. i.e., me)

Employee: "Sorry, but no one can register until 1:30."

S: "Well, my mom got shot in the head."

E: Silence... perhaps at the shock of what he just heard.

S: "She's bleeding out her head. Are you telling me she has to bleed out her head until I can register at 1:30???"

EXCUSE ME!? YOUR MOM GOT SHOT????? WHEN? WHERE? WHY THE HELL AREN'T YOU CALLING THE POLICE? AN AMBULANCE?? TAKING HER TO AN EMERGENCY ROOM????

The student just sighed and stammered away saying, "Alright. I guess I'll just have to wait until 1:30 then."

I would have been a bit concerned if I didn't know the student was just telling be a bold faced lie.

PAYDAY! NOT!

So the official payday was yesterday, August 1st. Today is the 2nd and K & I are already broke! WTF!? I am just so sick of shit coming up out of nowhere - In this case: carpenter ants, who are not only drilling holes in my shed, but also drilling holes in my wallet. In about 25 minutes I will be headed home early to take care of these little fuckers and shed a tear while writing out a check. Easy come, easy go!

This morning I woke up at 5 a.m. Did my alarm go off early? NO! Did I want to get up at 5? NO! My body just decided it was time to get up. Of course, this was after spending an entire evening cleaning out the house with K in preparation for the bug guy; and after a restless night sleeping, dreaming of insects and money flying out the window.

And there's another orientation this week.

Whee!

It's Monday, and Just Another Day at the Office

You know, I'm beginning to wonder if it gets any better. This past weekend went by way to quickly, (as it always does), and I felt as if it was just as much of a beating as the weekdays! My only salvation was some time at the local watering hole with The Nutcase, Lestat, Babs, and K, (of course). But I guess I'm really wound up - I mean after 3 dry martinis and an Irish Car Bomb, I would expect to at the very least, feel slightly toasted - but no. Alas, my tolerance makes me a really expensive date.

But aside from that brief oasis, my weekend kinda' sucked. Saturday was alright, I guess, but Sunday I worked in the yard all frigging day and made a rather unpleasant discovery: About two weekends ago, when I last did some yard work, I opened the shed door to have sawdust blown into my face. I thought it a bit peculiar, but just went on with my life as if nothing happened. Well, the same thing happened this past Sunday and I looked around the shed a little more and saw a combination of sawdust and insects. Fearing the worst, I opened the phone book and called my local termite exterminator - Of course, if being Sunday and all, I didn't expect anyone to be in, but I did leave a message. Then I grabbed my bug spray and went out to the shed for a little bug carnage. The bug spray worked! Unbelievable! This was great! Maybe I didn't need the bug guy to come out after all - But then curiosity got the best of me and, after I was done with the yard work, I went on-line and did a little research on termites, only to find out that bug spray ain't gonna' do it.

This afternoon, I took off from work early to meet with the bug guy: a very pleasant man with lots of information on bugs. It was like having my own personal entomologist right at my door. I showed him the shed and he shook his head, smiled and said, "Well, you'll be happy to know that you don't have termites." I breathed half a sigh of relief as he continued, "... you do, however have wood (or carpenter) ants." He told me about them and the difference between termites and carpenter ants - termites eat wood, whereas carpenter ants just live in wood. The extent of damage can be the same, it just takes carpenter ants longer to do it. The thing that absolutely sucks is that it's going to cost $440 to get rid of them.

You know.... just when you think you're getting ahead of the game, life throws you a nice little curve ball like... say... carpenter ants, and you have to take two giant steps backwards.

So this evening I put the sprinkler in the front lawn, trying to forget about the ants and the cost. I walk back to the house, slamming the fence gate, only to disturb a wasp's nest that was nestled in the corner of the gate. No, I didn't get stung, but I got a nice adrenaline rush running away from a swarm of angry wasps.

I hate insects.